What’s up y’all?

Supposedly, Mercury is in retrograde for a few weeks, so things are about to get weird. 

I don’t know much about astrology, so I won’t pretend to fully understand what that means but I’ve been told that we should expect communication issues, bad luck and overwhelmingly bad juju. 

But ironically, today has been one of the best days I’ve had in months! 

Seriously, I may be up for a new fitness training opportunity, a promotion at one of the stadiums I work for and my neighbor even dropped by with cheese dip and tortillas since he works for a Mexican restaurant supplier!

Hey, I don’t talk to most of my neighbors but if there was ever one to befriend, it’s definitely the guy with unlimited queso and burritos…

Now if only one of my neighbors owned a pizza shop…

Oh yeah, speaking of pizza, many of you may have noticed that I’ve had my own pizza gif available on the Facebook and Twitter list under “Darrell” for several months now.

Well, they’ve also added this pancake one now too! 

Ha, look Mom, I made it!   

Anyway yeah, it’s been a great day, which is literally the opposite of how things are supposed to play out with this alien curse in effect.

Maybe it’s the fact that my life is strange most of the time anyway so perhaps this retrograde has the opposite effect?

  …or maybe it’s because I’m actually part Martian?  Hmm…

Who knows?  But whatever the reason, I’ll take it!

Anyway, welcome back to #DoubleFML FatDarrellPalooza!

Speaking of “retro grades” I’m still super salty about this C that I got in Honors English back in 9^th grade.

We were supposed to write a song parody weaving themes of some boring historical event into the lyrics of a popular song for one of our exams. 

So, in less than 30 minutes, I flawlessly reworked “Here We Go, Let’s Rock and Roll” by C&C Music Factory all the way down to the last syllable.  Yet I was somehow only given a C because the teacher didn’t recognize the song!  

…which happened to be number one in the country at the time!  Say whaaat?!

Hey, it wasn’t my fault that you were grossly out of touch Ms. Recton! 

Why should I be penalized for her poor taste in music?  Sorry, I didn’t have an extensive collection of bluegrass and twangy country at my disposal back then…or now for that matter… ugh. 

That should have definitely been an A+ though, I nailed it!    

So yeah, I’m still a little mad, but I’ll leave it at that for now since I’m not sure if she’s still alive and I wouldn’t want to disrespect the dead if she is. 

Last thing I need is some boring ghost forcing me to conjugate verbs all day and night.  The horror. 

Still, if I ever find that paper, I’m heading back to Middletown High School North and demanding it be re-graded by whoever the current freshman honors English teacher is at the time! 

No, I’m not kidding…

Anyway, rant over.  But speaking of burritos and dreams, check out this blanket y’all!

Yes kids, wishes really do come true.

Speaking of “living the dream,” here are a few more photos from events that happened since last post.

Let’s start with a few photos from our Employee gathering at Mercedes Benz Stadium!

Here I am kicking it with Freddie The Falcon in The Atlanta Falcons endzone.

And here I am on the podium hitting the giant Atlanta United Golden Spike!

Fun times.

Aside from scarfing down an obscene amount of food and drinks, I also got to create this incredible art piece utilizing an actual scratched vinyl record (I chose The Fat Boys – Crushin’ LP lol) and acrylic paints at one of the vendor tables!  Check it out…

Yes, I did paint that myself!  Not bad eh?  …although I’m sure Ms. Recton would only give me a C for my work.

Yes, I’m still salty about that.

Oh yeah, speaking of salty, I finally made my way over to Quiktrip to try their limited edition Apple Pie Pretzel!

It’s an enormous soft pretzel covered in brown sugar and filled with warm apple pie filling.

If you’re wondering why I’m still salty over a grade from high school, that shirt and hat should explain it all!  If you don’t know what an ENTJ is, click here…

Yes, it’s as amazing as it sounds!

It comes with either a side of icing, whipped cream or a small (REALLY small) cup of ice cream. 

I ended up getting both the ice cream and icing (thanks for the hook up Jenny P!) but honestly didn’t really need the sides at all.  The pretzel was already delicious on its own!

They also have a limited-edition pretzel filled with spicy hot cheese dip that I’ll have to try now.  Based on this one, I’d imagine it’s equally amazing.

Each one will cost you $1.99 but they’re worth it if you ask me! 

These may disappear from the menu by the end of the month though so if you miss out, don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Do you have another food item, restaurant or recipe we should all try?  Tell us about it in the comments below!

Anyway, back to classic hip-hop artists, I also had the opportunity to work as a production assistant for the legendary duo, Eric B & Rakim last week at The Tabernacle, Atlanta.

That’s Eric B in the picture with me.  And yes, my face was sweaty – it was like 90 degrees that day! Don’t judge me…

They put on a great show and ran through all their classic hits like “Paid in Full” “Microphone Fiend” and “Don’t Sweat the Technique.”

Opening acts PCB, Jaz-O “The Originator” and Dish Nation / Rickey Smiley Morning Show DJ “Headkrack” also rocked the mic and moved the crowd.  Oh yeah, and Big Mike even dropped by for a brief cameo!  It was a great time!

Top photo – Big Mike’s cameo, Bottom left – Jaz-O “The Originator, Bottom right, Headkrack and yours truly…

Speaking of the crowd, I ended up standing next to this cutie who was single, fun to talk to and just as big of a fan of 90’s hip-hop as I am! 

After the show ended, she patiently waited for me to ask for her number or ask her out so of course I…just said bye and left to go break down the production! 

Ms. Recton would probably have given me an F for that one…but rightfully so this time!  Hey, I’m complicated. 

Maybe I really am part Martian.  Hmmm…

Darrell being a weirdo:  1

My parents hope and dreams of me finally giving them grandchildren:  0

Realistically, I probably would have never called her though, so that’s why I didn’t bother wasting her time or mine.

However, with all this “black mermaid” talk lately, I was reminded of this old Sade “No Ordinary Love” video from back in the day!

Lawd, that voice!  That face!  That body!  

…even if she was part fish in the video, I’d definitely learn how to swim for that one! 

I remember being SO jealous of the guy she was kissing on in that video back in the day!  ….actually, I still am.

But yeah, if anyone knows a doppelganger for early 90’s Sade, have her DM me immediately!  Please and thank you.  I’d definitely call in that case!

Anyway, aside from throwback hip-hop artists, I also got to work on modern day superstar, 21 Savage’s commercial spot for Avion Tequila!

Although I was around him numerous times throughout the 2-day shoot, I never had time to take a photo with him so this cardboard cut-out will have to suffice for now!

However, his crew did provide me with a ton of food and this expensive bottle of Avion tequila!

I don’t drink though so maybe I’ll trade my neighbor for more queso dip…

Anyway, before we dip out of here (<-see what I did there?), here are today’s fitness tips!

First, allow me to point out to new readers that the crazy foods mentioned in these posts aren’t consumed daily.  Most of the week I eat healthy, balanced meals and you should too if you’re trying to maintain or achieve a healthy lifestyle.

This second one is more of a life tip than strictly fitness, but it’s an unfortunately necessary warning to all.

I’ve always been paranoid about grabbing items from the front of the shelf at stores.  I always feel that those are the ones that have been sniffed and handled by numerous people.  Well, if you’ve been paying attention to the news lately, there’s a strange new trend sweeping social media of filthy people licking ice cream, gargling mouthwash and other disgusting acts before placing these items back on the shelf for unsuspecting people to buy.

Hopefully this trend doesn’t continue, but either way, I’d still recommend always grabbing your items from the further back on the shelf and to thoroughly check if the seal has been broken before purchasing your items.

This is especially important for food and items you might consume, but also applies to deodorant, shampoo and…well everything really.  Bacteria and germs from random strangers could literally be deadly so it’s important to take the extra time to inspect everything carefully.

It’s sad that I even have to share this warning, however it’s much better to be safe than sorry.

Do you have a fitness question, goal or accomplishment you’d like to share?  Tell us in the comments below!

Today’s Soundtrack

What’s on Your Mind – Eric B & Rakim

Jigga What Jigga Who  – Jay-Z ft Amil and Jaz-O

Wipeout – Fat Boys

Cherish the Day – Sade

Bank Account – 21 Savage

Do you have another song that fits today’s themes or that’s just so great we should check it out anyway?  Tell us in the comments below!

Before we go, let’s check out the “foodie holidays” that fall between this and next post…

Hmm, kind of a slow week but things definitely pick up with National French Fry Day and National Gummy Worm Day. 

The rest aren’t quite as exciting, but I won’t turn down a sugar cookie if someone offers… well, maybe.  That info I shared in the fitness section still has me a bit rattled!

Anyway, before you go, please drop a comment below.  Also make sure to follow me on social media, especially the Fat Darrell page on Facebook!  It’s hilarious if I do say so myself…

Hopefully you all have a fun week planned.  My goal is to catch the new Spiderman movie before someone ruins it for me!  I also need to continue my spring-cleaning mission I started a few weeks ago.

What about you?  Whatever you have planned, I hope that it’s amazing!

Okay folks, that’s a wrap for this week but thanks again for dropping by. 

Until next time my friends, May the Fork be With You…

-Darrell

“I am the color red in a world of black and white” – Bray Wyatt