Oh…hey. 

Yeah, that’s me.  I know you may not have recognized me with such a “clever” disguise and all.  I’m preparing in case I have go into hiding if my favorite team doesn’t start winning soon!

I’m kidding of course.  I’m faithful so I’d still run my mouth even if they only won 1 game all season!  It’s just harder to trash talk when you’re down by 40 points… 

Anyway, next weekend will be different so GO RU! 

Believe it or not, my nose in that picture is actually fake!  I know, crazy, right?  You can hardly tell!

The beard however, that’s real. 

The last time I grew it out was for an acting role but there’s no elaborate story this time.  I was just too lazy to shave last week so one of the “machines” referenced in the title could also be my electric razor.  “No Shave November” arrived early this year I suppose.

I haven’t decided if I like it yet, but it would come in handy next time I visit my parents.  Aside from his extra height, my father and I are often mistaken for each other.  He’s much friendlier than I am though so I’ve gotten him in trouble several times! 

Perhaps this facial hair could help identify me as “the bad guy” like when they slapped a fake mustache on David Hasselhoff, so he could play Michael Knight’s evil twin Garthe…  (If you actually understood that bizarre reference, you’re awesome!  … and possibly old…and a nerd.)

Anyway, my thoughts and prayers go out to those affected by Hurricane Florence!

My original phrasing was “everyone in the path of Hurricane Florence” but based on the vast conflicting weather reports, that was nearly half the country! 

Seriously, meteorologists were basically just circling the entire western hemisphere and saying it would land “somewhere at some time on some day in the future.”

I’ve honestly gotten more accurate ETA’s from my cable company!

One day they predicted it was heading to New Jersey, then to Atlanta, then to Maryland.  I think I saw someone on Facebook mark themselves safe from as far as New Mexico!  Huh?  Safe from what?  The Roswell UFO crash in 1947?  Florence wasn’t going all the way out there Susan but thanks for the update.

Shoutout to the real winners here though, the US Department of Agriculture!  Bread and milk aisles were empty in every state The Weather Channel pointed at so if that was the plan, mission accomplished!    

The bread makes sense, but I’ll never understand why people stockpile refrigerated items like milk during storms.  Hmm, someone explain that in the comments for me.  ‘Murica.

Anyone with the name Florence must be loving life right now though!  My friends Elaine and Irene still call themselves “Hurricane” since their monikers were used for past storms! 

I used to call one of my exes a “Tropical Depression” too but that’s only because she was Jamaican, Puerto Rican and miserable.

“I used to call one of my exes a “Tropical Depression” too but that’s only because she was Jamaican, Puerto Rican and miserable.” – Fat Darrell

Anyway, that’s yet another accomplishment I’ll never have unfortunately.  It’s hard enough finding my name properly spelled on a keychain or a “Share One” Coke bottle so the odds of ever seeing Hurricane Darrell are slim to none. 

I think they have them picked out for the foreseeable future anyway. 

They always pick cute or pretty names though, that may be why people don’t always take the evacuation warnings seriously.  Maybe they should give the next one a more aggressive name like “Hurricane Deebo” or something? 

“Hurricane IRS” or “Hurricane Bill Collector” could work too.  “Hurricane Baby Mama” perhaps?  …Garthe?

Although the storm wasn’t as severe or far reaching as expected, many cities in The Carolinas weren’t as fortunate.  Lives were lost, property was damaged and much of the coastline remains flooded.  Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers, or better yet, make a donation!  There are many great charities rallying to help but to start your search, Forbes posted a rather comprehensive list you can check out by clicking here!

Anyway, thanks again to all who shared their 9/11 stories last post!  If you haven’t seen that one yet, definitely check it out.  It’s a great read if I do say so myself. 

Also shoutout to the members of our Facebook foodie group Phenomnomnomenal since they provided the inspiration for today’s post.  If you’re not a member already, click here to join now!

First, Brian Sapp posted these mini Fruit Loops flavored doughnuts from Hardees / Carl’s Jr. 

I’d seen them online before, but I figured they’d be too sweet.  However, after Brian’s ringing endorsement, I considered picking up a box.   

I was still on the fence until Rafaela Castagna posted this meme 10-minutes later. 

Clearly this was divine intervention guiding my path.  I knew what had to be done. #godsplan

So, this is where my review of that deliciousness would go, but according to the Hardees location I visited, they’ve been discontinued?  What?!

Brian just posted them last week, so I’ll have to check other locations to confirm, but either way, I’ve got nothing. 

Wait, that’s not entirely true.  I have something…I have a craving for some mini breakfast cereal-inspired doughnuts!

Perhaps I misread that divine message earlier.  I thought it was a love note from heaven but instead it was a “new phone, who dis”…

Hmm, now what?  The answer was to run errands, grocery shop and regroup but then I spotted this!

Mini Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites?  What? 

This literally checked all the boxes!  Truth be told, I like Cinnamon Toast Crunch better than Fruit Loops anyway!

Apparently, these have been out since last year but I hadn’t heard about them before.  Actually, I rarely go down the aisle they’re sold in so wow, maybe it was divine intervention after all?

Oh, but that’s not all I spotted!  Check these out!

An official Hershey’s chocolate version?  Whoa.  Even better!  …but that’s not all!

PB & Jelly minis too?!  Okay, apparently, I need to walk down this aisle more often! 

Although, according to the website, these just debuted last week so they wouldn’t’ have been on the shelves before anyway. 

Well, I’m glad they are now!  Let’s try these!

Okay, let’s go in order of appearance and start with the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Minis! 

Geez, these heat ridiculously fast!  After 10 seconds my entire apartment smelled like a bakery!

The concept is rather straightforward, and it’s obviously not health food so there’s no elaborate intro necessary here. 

Let’s just cut right to the taste test.

The Verdict:  WHOA!  This tastes exactly like a cinnamon roll!  OMG…wow!  I’m going to have a hard time ignoring these in my freezer until my next cheat day.  That was incredible!

Next up, the Hershey’s bites!

These both remind me of Dunkin Donuts munchkins but with warm filling which makes them twice as tempting.  The heating time is the same for both.  Approximately 20 seconds for 6.

Geez, these smell incredible too.  Let’s see how they taste!

The Verdict:  These are pretty good too!  I was absolutely blown away by the cinnamon version though, so I may have gotten my hopes up too high. 

Keep in mind that the filling is always my least favorite part.  If you’re a regular here, I’ve stated that I like the cookie more than the cream for Oreos.  I also prefer cake over icing and the crust over pie filling so my opinion probably runs contrary to most.

With that said, I found the filling to be a bit too sweet, but I’d imagine most chocolate lovers would do backflips for these! 

Again, they’re good!  I just preferred the balance of the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bites.  They also taste less processed if that makes sense.

Finally, the PB&J bites!

Right out of the gate, I’m already impressed they made individually portioned packs!  To be fair, they’re only sold in family-sized boxes while the other 2 options are smaller, but it’s still a convenience I appreciate. 

I also appreciate there’s no high-fructose corn syrup or artificial dyes.  Again, this isn’t health food, but the label could have been a lot worse!

These can either be heated for 15 seconds or thawed to room temperature and consumed as is. 

I don’t have the time or patience to wait 30 minutes for them to thaw though.  Plus I’m sure they’re better warm, so let’s nuke these too!

The Verdict:  I like them!  Again, this comes down to personal preference.  For PB&J, I prefer crunchy peanut butter equally balanced with jelly.  Most people prefer creamy peanut butter and tons of it!  I’m aware that my preferences aren’t the norm so I’d imagine most people will absolutely love these!  They’re also convenient since they’re individually packaged and can be consumed at room temperature.

I liked all 3 but absolutely LOVED the Cinnamon Toast Crunch minis!  You can’t go wrong with any of them though, they’re all GRRREEEAAT!  Sorry, wrong cereal.

Do you have another food item, restaurant or recipe we should all try?  Tell us about it in the comments below!

You know we weren’t going to continue without taking a closer look at that shirt, right?  So here it is!  Bask in it’s awesomeness…

“Stay Woke.”  Ha!  Get it?  Despite the beard, I still have the maturity level of a third grader.  Is it Halloween yet? 

Oh yeah, while we’re doing “show and tell” check out these cool balloons I spotted while running errands earlier in the week!

 

If you’re wondering, they’re $24.99 each, and my birthday is next month.  Just saying…

We’ve discussed hurricanes and junk food so far in this post.  Typically, those 2 things go together, but they don’t have to.  It’s still possible to eat healthy during a storm. 

 

With that said, here’s an awesome healthy emergency food list courtesy of House Mix Blog!  Check it out…

Please note that you’ll also want to store plenty of water and the hard-boiled eggs will need to stay in a cooler.  Aside from that, nothing else needs to be refrigerated and should last a full week or more!

What other healthy suggestions can you think of to ad to the list? 

Do you have another fitness question, goal or accomplishment you’d like to share?  Tell us in the comments below!

Today’s Soundtrack

Shake it Out – Florence + The Machine`

Feels Like Summer – Childish Gambino

Rock you Like a Hurricane – Scorpions

Boo’d Up – Ella Mai

Lucky You – Eminem ft. Joyner Lucas

Do you have another song that fits today’s themes or that’s just so great we should check it out anyway?  Tell us about it in the comments below!

Before we go, let’s check out the next batch of Foodie “holidays” that occur between now and next post!

Wait a minute, why is Play-dough on this list?  You know you’re not supposed to eat that, right?  I’ll take a cheeseburger though.

Again, several of these seem to be repeats since we just had a National Ice Cream Cone Day but I’m still down. 

If they’re running out of days though, I say we ad ®Fat Darrell Day to the calendar in January!  Ha, that would be incredible.  #goals

Monday the 24^th is also my mom’s birthday!  My parents live in South Carolina so thankfully they’re safe!  They literally mean the world to me so waiting for this storm to pass was nerve-racking!

Again, many others weren’t as fortunate so aside from sending prayers, also consider sending a donation.   

Also consider leaving a comment before you go!  There’s also a “like” and “share” button next to the comment box so feel free to click those too!  😉

Last but not least, follow me on social media by clicking the appropriate logos on the side panel! 

Okay folks, that’s a wrap for today!  I hope to see that Nun movie I’ve heard so much about but otherwise, I have no plans.  Whatever you get into this week, I hope it’s fresher than fresh and cooler than the other side of the pillow.

Until next time my friends, May the Fork be With You…

-Darrell

“Divided by distance, united by memes…”