That’s “The OC” as in Orangeburg County, South Carolina, not Orange County, California.

Also, not Fox Television’s teen drama from the mid 2000’s, so if you opened this post looking for an update on The Cohens or closure from Marissa’s car accident, my apologies.

Anyway, what’s up y’all?  Welcome back to #DoubleFML FatDarrellPalooza! 

So, as mentioned, I just made it back from an impromptu trip to visit my parents in South Carolina. 

Since I have a few upcoming projects I’d like to tone up for, my goal was to drop 7 lbs., and after this weekend, I only have 15 more lbs. to go!

My mom is hilarious.  She normally makes brownies whenever I visit but since I’m trying to shed some body fat, I told her not to this time….so instead she baked me an entire apple pie! 

That’s on top of the BBQ chicken, ribs, meatloaf, pancakes, mac and cheese, corn bread and other “buffet-style” options she whipped up while I was there!  I swear, my parents always feed me like I’m dying whenever they see me!

Substitute “Grandma” for “mom” in these, but you get the idea…

It looks like I’ll have additional cardio sessions on deck for the foreseeable future, but it was totally worth it.  #yolo

That wasn’t a fitness tip by the way…but this is!  If you didn’t catch the sarcasm, the apple pie is no healthier than the brownies! 

This trip was impromptu, but generally speaking, if you plan to “treat yo’ self” while on vacation, try to front load the week with extra activity and strict nutrition. 

By designating a few of those vacation days for your weekly “cheat meals” and remaining focused the rest of the time, you should be able to stay on track (or at least do minimal damage) toward your fitness goals. 

For last minute trips like mine, it happens.  Enjoy yourself but stay active and make sure to get back on the wagon as soon as you return home!

Do you have a fitness question, goal or accomplishment you’d like to share?  Tell us in the comments below!

Hmm, so, this is the part where I’d normally show you all the exciting landmarks I passed during my 4-hour drive from Atlanta but there’s honestly nothing worth sharing.  It’s all highway, rest stops and billboards. 

The only “sights” to break the monotony are an outlet mall and a Walmart Shipping Center.  I know, #turnup right?

Here’s a random photo I took at Loves Truck Stop though.

Wow, they even have knock-off Drakkar and Polo Sport!  It’s like a time machine back to the 90’s!  Mmm, classy…

I’ve always wondered what these smell like, but that experiment will have to wait until I’m closer to a shower.  I love you guys and all, but there’s no way I was going to risk driving 4 hours possibly smelling like roach spray and tilapia!

Anyway, to keep myself amused, I also engaged several fellow commuters in epic car dance battles.  Although I should probably be careful after this happened last week!

Georgia has a new law where you can’t use your phone to record yourself while driving anymore so I don’t have any footage to show you, but I won 5 out of 6 encounters.

Yeah, I lost at my own game.  This grandmother in the backseat of a minivan started popping and locking though.  There was no way I could beat that! 

The next time I have passengers, I’ll get one of them record a few rounds! 

Singing and dancing like an idiot in the car always helps pass the time.  It’s something I’ve done ever since I first got my license back in high school. 

Wouldn’t it be great if all the world’s problems could be solved with random dance-offs though?  You know, Electric Boogaloo Style?  Like instead of threatening tweets between President Trump and Iran’s President Rouhani, how about we see who’s got the best “Whip Nae Nae” skills?  Winner takes all. 

How cool would that be?  Like an epic world leader Soul Train line? 

Could you imagine Queen Elizabeth “flossing” with German Chancellor Angela Merkel hyping her up shouting “Don’t Stop, Queenie! Queenie!” in the background?

Kim Jong-un could show off his upside-down twerk skills and Canada’s Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau could even perform a live attempt at Drake’s “In My Feelings” challenge? 

That would be the most lit United Nations meeting in history!  It would be epic!

Wait, I’d better confirm that President Trump can actually dance before making this suggestion to Congress otherwise we might lose!  Maybe a golf trick-shot competition would be a better suggestion for now?  Hmm…

This entire “car-dancing” conversation just reminded me of my funniest encounter to date. 

It happened back in the day when I lived in Phoenix. 

My buddy Brandon and I were driving upstate, and we got stuck in traffic on the highway that went past the Arizona state prison. 

We had loud EDM blasting and the windows down so when a police squad car pulled beside us, I thought he was going to signal for us to turn the volume down. 

Fortunately, he didn’t say anything but as he pulled forward, the female inmate that he was transporting started blowing me kisses and dancing along to our music as best she could with her hands in cuffs!

This continued for several miles until traffic cleared and they eventually turned into the prison as we continued heading north.

In hindsight, I probably should have gotten her info.  She was actually gorgeous (the orange jumpsuit really brought out the color in her eyes lol) and it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten a hand-written letter from anyone…

The fact that I’m only half kidding with that last statement is why I should no longer be trusted to make my own dating decisions by the way!  I’ve got a PHD in helping other people navigate their relationships but I’ve yet to earn a GED for navigating my own. 

I have an excellent BS filter in most situations but when it comes to making judgement calls and character reads on potential bae’s, my filter usually returns one of those “404 error” messages! 

You can check out my Bae Watch post for several examples if you’re interested.  If a Snapped episode is ever made about one of these women, hopefully they at least find a talented actor to portray me! 

Anyway, I don’t have photos of my parents either since they’re very private and don’t like being posted online.

To get an idea how my father looks though, all you need to do is imagine me several inches taller.  The older I get, the more we look alike. 

I actually got him “in trouble” at church the other day since several people thought he was ignoring them when I walked by without saying anything!  Whoops. 

In my defense, they could have spoken first but still, it’s nerve-wrecking walking around that town because my parents are so warm and friendly while I’m full of distant Jersey sarcasm. 

Knowing people think I’m my father half the time though, I have to completely flip my personality and cosplay a fully functioning and socially active adult!  It’s literally the hardest acting role I’ve ever attempted!

I almost stopped at their mall before heading back to Atlanta, but I didn’t want to risk getting my father in trouble with any more sideways interactions, so I just quit while I was ahead and drove home! 

Although hanging with my parents often feels like I’m with Governors of South Carolina, I randomly bumped into actual SC gubernatorial candidate James Smith while I was in town!

Before we continue, first shoutout to me for using the 6-syllable big-boy word “gubernatorial” which sounds sophisticated yet goofy at the same time.  Goober… ha, sorry, my inner third grader finds that hilarious. #AdultingIsHard

More importantly however, is my reminder that we don’t really do biased politics here since it seems like we’re beaten over the head with political views 24/7 lately, even during sporting events, TV shows and mindless social media rants. 

#DoubleFML is counterprogramming and the escape from all that so please save your left, right, liberal, conservative, Republican and Democrat hate mail for the Fox and CNN websites! 

There are pros and cons to each side and both should learn to work together for the benefit of the people regardless of  party affiliation.  With that said, if I have a chance encounter with an official on either side of the aisle, I have no problem talking to them so calm down if you’re pulling for incumbent SC Governor Henry McMaster to win!  He’s more than welcome to reach out as well!

As for Mr. Smith, he made several valid points during his remarks and was a genuinely nice guy so it was a pleasure meeting him and his campaign staff! 

That’s about as deep as we’ll take this political discussion, especially since I’m not well-versed on SC politics as I currently reside in Atlanta.

The most important takeaway from our discussion however, was to get out and vote!

That applies to both parties.  Ranting on Facebook about change is easy.  You have to get involved in the process or deal with the consequences.

People who whine about the outcome of elections after refusing to vote are like girlfriends who can’t decide what they want to eat then complain about every restaurant I pull into.  So, voice your opinion, or we’re getting burritos…

Actually, that’s an awesome platform!  Free burritos for all!  Work that into your campaign James – that should be good for a few thousand extra votes!  Trust me, I was the first black president (*of Thorne middle school) so I know a thing or 2 about winning elections. 

Also, try rapping your final campaign speech.  Hey, it worked for me!

Anyway, the event Mr. Smith dropped by was the true reason I was in town.  It was an evening with famed author and media personality, Michael Baisden at Brooklyn Restaurant and Lounge in downtown Orangeburg, SC!

For those who are unfamiliar, Michael Baisden is a nationally syndicated radio personality and host of The Michael Baisden Show. 

He’s also hosted two national television shows, produced three films and is a NY Times bestselling author with over 2 million books in print!

Aside from traditional media, Michael Baisden also has over 4.3 million followers on his Facebook page!  For those of you who aren’t following me on social media yet, hurry up and click those logos on the main menu to do so now!  I’ve got a long way to go before I catch up to him!  Geez.

Anyway, his media career began when he left his job driving trains in Chicago to self-publish his first release, “Never Satisfied”, and began touring the country selling books out of the trunk of his car.

His radio show started back in 2005 on the legendary 98.7 Kiss FM in NYC and after a brief hiatus, he made is triumphant return to national radio in January 2017.     

One of the stations he’s now syndicated on happens to be The People’s Station WOCS 93.7 FM in Orangeburg, SC. 

The station owner, Harvey Elwood, is a family friend so he was kind enough to reserve a front row seat for the event (shoutout to Nicolette Houston as well for the hookup!).

Over the course of 3 hours, Mr. Baisden discussed a variety of topics including the importance of voting, honesty in relationships and dating habits. 

Several topics were much racier than I expected!  He even talked about swingers and sex clubs, so I’m really glad my mom didn’t come with me as she originally intended too!  That might have cracked the top 3 most awkward moments I’ve ever had with my parents!

The current list remains as the following:

3. When I forgot about “that one scene” in the movie 300 when I suggested we should all watch it together…

2. When my father mistakenly thought the dried glue all over my bedroom carpet after I finished working on my middle school science project was um “something else” and started to give me “the talk.”

and

1. One year my grandparents had too many people staying at their house around Christmas, so we spent the first night at a dingy hourly hotel since it was the only place that wasn’t booked. I had to act as though I didn’t hear the loud screams and moans coming from the next room all night as the bed slammed repeatedly against the paper-thin wall!  I just pretended they were holding a late night bible study next door which was fairly easy to do since they kept screaming “oh god”…

Ah…awkward times.

Anyway, the main takeaway was that Michael Baisden is extremely down to Earth and absolutely loves his fans!

He started off the event by giving away copies of his latest book, Maintenance Man II which he’s also developing a movie adaptation for. 

He literally gave a copy to every person in attendance despite it being free to enter which was extremely generous of him! 

I also purchased a copy of his book “Raise Your Hand if you Have Issues” for obvious reasons!  #Ihaveissues

Before giving his speech, he went around to each table to take pictures and sign copies of the book.  He also made himself available afterwards for anyone who wanted additional photos and autographs!

He specifically mentioned that he plans to organize monthly gatherings in Atlanta since the flagship station for his new radio show is based here as well so I look forward to attending future events.

Michael Baisden is definitely a class act.  I had a great time.

Speaking of Maintenance Men, last post I told you about the sewer smell in my apartment.  Well thankfully, it’s officially gone now since I turned off my A/C while I was out of town!  

Walking into that hot funk would have been worse than the bathroom cologne I showed you earlier!

While we’re discussing previous posts, I’m not sure how I possibly left this guy out of the Space Force post!

E.T.!  Again, no hate mail people, that straw is a collectors item – the coastline is safe!

As for the maroon shirt, it’s also not a political statement but it sure is timely considering Russia has been in my news feed every day for the past 2 years!

If you don’t recognize Ivan Drago, you need to watch the Rocky anthology ASAP, comrade!  They’re all classics.  

Anyway, I’m thinking about wrapping that stuffed ET in a towel and strapping a milk crate to the front of my bicycle to freak out my neighbors later.  That sounds like fun so let me hurry and finish this post… (again #ihaveissues)

With that said, let’s close this out with a quick round of “What Do You Meme” where I post some of the best social media content that’s been shared with me recently!

Let’s start it off with one about books…

As much as I love horror movies and Halloween, I never thought of that JASON acronym!  #mindblown

My poor father can’t step outside for a minute without getting stung!  I hope I never inherit that trait!  Although, I attract psychos so I suppose he still wins…

Speaking of relationships…

MOM! #adultingishard

Here are a few from the animal kingdom, including one for Shark Week…

It’s getting hot out there y’all…

Sorry for the minor language and spelling errors but this is still hilarious!

Sound advice…

And let’s wrap things up with a few fitness memes:

Alright, enough of that.  Cue the music!

Today’s Soundtrack

Paint the Silence – South (from The OC soundtrack)

Motownphilly – Boyz II Men

Locked Up – Akon

Jailhouse Rock – Elvis Presley

Yikes – Kanye West

Living in America – James Brown (from The Rocky 4 soundtrack)

Do you have another song that fits today’s themes or that’s just so great we should check it out anyway?  Tell us in the comments below!

Alright folks, that about does it for this week, but before we head out, here are the “foodie holidays” that occur between now and next post!

My little nephew Domonick also turns “the big 07” on the 28^th so I’d better hurry up and get that Amazon order shipped! 

Did any of you also take advantage of Prime Day last week?  Don’t forget to click our affiliates link and check out the rest of the special offers on the #DoubleFML Deals and Discounts page!

Also, please make sure to like, share and comment below before you leave!   

Okay, that’s a wrap everybody.  Have a great week and thanks again for dropping by!

Until next time my friends, May the Fork be With You…

-Darrell

“I was an accountant from 2010 to 2018 then got fired for no apparent reason!  What a waste of 18 years that was…”