Hey, I’m not gonna lie, that cartoon pineapple chick in the cover photo with me? She’s kinda cute. I’d holla…

Anyway, what’s up everybody, welcome back to #DoubleFML FatDarrellPalooza!

So, last post I stated my mission to see The Avengers: Infinity War movie before anyone else rudely posted spoilers on my newsfeed. Well, I made it and boy did it deliver!

If you’ve seen any of the intertwining Marvel films over the past decade or so, this movie is the culmination of those storylines.

I’ve got to hand it to the studio execs because they planned and executed this difficult long-term project extremely well!

Each character has his or her time to shine and the dynamics of their interactions with each other are exciting and fun to watch unfold. Surreal actually!

Since I just complained about other people posting spoilers, I obviously won’t ruin the movie for you myself, but if you’re a fan of Marvel superhero movies, I highly recommend checking this one out too!

Despite space travel, CGI exploding buildings and flying creatures shooting laser beams at each other, the script actually makes one think of deep real-world issues as well.

Issues like:

• Good versus evil and the gray areas in between.
• How much could we accomplish if we set aside our differences to rally for a common cause?
• What would you sacrifice to protect the ones you love?

and

• How long can you control your bladder through a 2.5 hour movie after drinking a 24oz Slurpee?

I almost had a surprising answer for that last question but thankfully I made it through until the end! It was close though…

Anyway, Infinity War is awesome so if you’re a Marvel superhero fan, I absolutely recommend checking this record breaking movie out!

So, many of you were surprised to see me wearing a Superman and Deadpool tee last post but I do like other characters aside from Batman, he’s just my favorite, that’s all.

With all the dumb tees I own, you think I wouldn’t have other superhero shirts? Now, now, don’t be silly…

Oh, wait, speaking of shirts!

“Swing batta batta batta batta batta swing!” – K7

If you’re a regular here, do you remember this amazing glowing pineapple tee?

I bought it because it’s random, funny and obnoxious (3 words that are also often used to describe me…), but I’ve also gotten a few interesting looks from several suburban housewives at the grocery store in this shirt.

At first, I just figured they were staring because of the silly design, but last week one of my clients clued me in that pineapples are the official calling card for swingers!

Wait, what? Did any of you know that already? I had no idea, but I just looked this up and it’s true!

For those of you who are lost, swingers are couples who ”exchange” their spouses for um, “play dates” if you get my drift.

Apparently, an upside-down pineapple placed inside your shopping cart at the grocery store or on your mailbox at home is a signal to others that you’re about that life. Oh, and if your neighbor ever leaves an upside-down pineapple on your porch, they may want to borrow more than just sugar!

Of course, the pineapple on my shirt is right-side-up and I’m not married so hey, nothing to see here ladies!

Even if I was married though, no thanks.

I don’t even like sharing my fries with other people, so I definitely wouldn’t share my wife! To each his own though I suppose…

“I don’t even like sharing my fries with other people, so I definitely wouldn’t share my wife!” – Fat Darrell

Who would have thought a seemingly innocent looking pineapple had a secret double-meaning? It’s like a scandalous real-life version of the National Treasure movies…

With so many subcultures in the world today, you never know what signals you may unintentionally give off. That’s why I never dared to get one of those Chinese lettering tattoos that were so popular years ago.

Do you realize that a single dot could change the entire meaning of those symbols? My skin is way too unstable for that!

I could be strutting through China Town thinking my “cool tat” means something badass like a shark or a wolf, meanwhile a bruise might have changed the meaning to “I’m a pretty little butterfly” or something and I’d have no idea!

It does make you wonder what other mysteries are hidden in plain sight though. Hmm…

Speaking of hidden in plain sight, why do people think they suddenly disappear once they get inside their car…especially without tinted windows?

I saw a great example of this yesterday on I-85. Whatever the woman in the next lane was looking for deep inside her nostrils between exits 107 and 84, I sure hope that she eventually found it (speaking of buried treasure…)!

As gross at that may have been to read, it was even worse to witness in person! Yet people wonder why I don’t trust everyone’s cooking at office parties…especially messy stuff like potato salad.

I remember heading into the bathroom to wash my hands before a pot-luck office party a few years ago.

As I entered, I heard what sounded like a fireworks show coming from the stall behind me.

Actually, that’s putting it mildly, it sounded more like a scene from Jurassic Park.

As I held my breath and started the water, I heard 2 flushes (since one apparently wasn’t enough for that mission). Then the stall door swung open and my co-worker said “hi” as he walked to the mirror, ran his fingers through his hair a few times and exited without washing his hands. Um, wait what?

If you think I was going to try his “famous gumbo” and chocolate chip cookies after that display, you’re out of your mind!

Call me a germaphobe all you want, but if your special recipe includes toilet paper and dandruff, I’ll pass every time.

Actually, I wouldn’t even high-five him after that day! But again, to each his own I suppose…

“Call me a germaphobe all you want, but if your special recipe includes toilet paper and dandruff, I’ll pass every time.” – Fat Darrell

That leads us to today’s germophobic Fitness Tip!

If you use a public fitness center, know that dozens if not hundreds of sweaty bodies use the exact same equipment that you do each workout! That’s why you should always wipe down your benches and machines before and after usage.

Most gyms have courtesy wipes, hand sanitizer and paper towels. They’re there for a reason!

If cleaning isn’t your thing, at the very least, I’d place a towel between the seat and your exposed skin.

Sure, it may cost you a few extra minutes at the gym, but an unforeseen illness or infection would be much worse in the long run so I’d say it’s worth the effort. Hey, you never know…

Do you have a fitness question, goal or accomplishment you’d like to share? Tell us about it in the comments below!

On the opposite end of the health spectrum, if you didn’t know, Oreo is currently in the finals of their “My Oreo Creation Contest” where fans have a chance to name their own flavor and win a $500,0000 cash prize.

The 3 finalists are currently in stores to face off in a battle to see which gets the most votes to win.

I saw all 3 flavors on the shelf weeks ago but they all sounded disgusting, so I was going to pass on trying any of them. I had even written this section already where I stated that fact and was going to outsource the taste test to you guys.

However, I’ve been asked my opinion at least 50 times over the past few hours and one of the flavors features pineapples (Pina Colada) so okay fine. Let’s do this.

The 3 finalists (in no particular order) are Cherry Cola, Kettle Corn and the aforementioned Pina Colada.

Despite my excited expression in the photo, I’m actually terrified. I have very low expectations for these so if any of them manage to win me over, they must be good!

Before we begin, let me restate my personal bias that I feel the OG original Oreos are still the G.O.A.T (greatest of all time for those of you in need of an urban dictionary…you’re welcome). Although the idea of new flavors has been a fun ride, I highly doubt that any of them will ever defeat the champ and I’m therefore a very tough judge.

I’ll still go into this open-minded though because I’ve been surprised by a few of these including the Apple Pie, Hot Cocoa, PB&J and Red Velvet flavors so maybe one of these will impress me as well.

Also, before we try these, let’s take a closer look at that shirt hidden behind those cookies!

Speaking of The G.O.A.T – Purple Rain is one of my all-time favorite songs! I’ve actually come close to giving myself a hernia trying to hit those high notes at the end while singing along in my car.

I’m certain that many others would agree with my placement of Prince atop my musical Mount Rushmore right next to Michael Jackson. Hmm, I’ll have to think who else would fill the other 2 slots but we’ll save that discussion for another day. We’ve got cookies to taste!

Feel free to comment below with your 4 top music artists of all time though!

Fun Fact: My late cousin, John Blackwell (RIP) was actually one of Prince’s touring drummers! He also played for Patti Labelle and Justin Timberlake! Very talented guy. Although I have yet to make my full impact on the music industry, musical talent definitely runs through my bloodline.

Anyway, enough about that. Let’s get this over with. Ugh, let me pour a drink to wash my mouth out just in case these are as nasty as I suspect they’ll be. Here goes nothing…

Cherry Cola: Ha, okay these definitely smell like Cherry Cola! The scent is unmistakable the second you open the packaging. Bonus points for the internal colors mimicking the Pepsi logo! Aesthetically, I’m kinda digging these but this isn’t a beauty pageant, it’s a taste test so with that said…

The Verdict: Hmm, you know what? They’re actually not bad. They included pop rocks candy to replicate the feeling of soda fizz. Ha, all of these little details are truly awesome! The flavor essentially feels like you’re eating Oreos and washing it down with soda. Although milk would normally be my beverage of choice with Oreos, I’m actually impressed by these! Wow, we’re off to a great start. I’m actually surprised how much fun these are to eat. The pop rocks are still going off as I type this and the aftertaste is smooth. Okay fine, these are awesome. I’m a believer and will absolutely destroy this bag later but for now, let’s try another flavor, shall we?

Kettle Corn: Okay, these definitely smell like buttered popcorn. As you’ll notice, they placed these on their golden cookies instead of the chocolate. It may be hard to see in the photo, but they also stuffed real millet pieces into the filling so this should be interesting.

The Verdict: Hmm…maybe it’s because I just got back from the gym and I’m starving, but these aren’t bad either. The butter is a bit intense at times, but they made the right call ditching the chocolate for this combination. It essentially feels like eating a golden cookie and then shoving a handful of popcorn in your mouth. Shamefully, I’ve actually done that on multiple occasions so yeah, they nailed it. On their own, these aren’t bad but for the sake of the contest, Cherry Cola still wins due to overall presentation, flavors and personal bias since it’s closer to the original.

Pina Colada: Let’s close this out with the featured pineapple (and coconut) flavor! As you can see, these are from the “Thins” line so they’re flatter and less calories than the others. If you think you’re going to get “thin” from eating these though, good luck with that plan! We’ll save that debate for another day though. As for the visuals, there aren’t any pop rocks or popcorn bits in this one. It’s just a straight forward pineapple and coconut cream. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though because as I stated before, this isn’t a beauty pageant.

The Verdict: Hmm, okay I must say that they nailed the pina colada flavor. I can absolutely taste the smooth blend of coconut and pineapple. The use of a golden cookie over chocolate was smart in this case too since it doesn’t overpower the filling. If you love pineapple or coconut, you’ll probably love these. I find the aftertaste more pleasant than the initial crunch though since the flavor combination is a bit jarring at first for a cookie.

Overall: Okay, I can admit when I’m wrong and this is one case where I absolutely was. I expected the worst from all 3 of these flavors but they were all pleasant. I actually threw away the Swedish Fish and Mystery flavor that turned out to be Fruity Pebbles after reviewing those because they were disgusting. That’s not the case here though, I will absolutely finish all 3 of these and will not be sharing!

As for my favorite? The Cherry Cola was just too much fun to vote against so that’s my pick. If you’ve tried all 3 as well, what’s your choice?

Do you have another food item, restaurant or recipe we should all try? Tell us about it in the comments below!

So, last week in our Facebook foodie group, Phenomnomnomenal (click here to join now!), one of our members (here’s looking at you Yvonne DeMoss…) was in need of recipes for chicken thighs.

Well, here’s a great one that utilizes a pressure cooker (pressure cookers are awesome by the way, here’s a link to the post where I shared mine) and pineapple! If you buy a fresh one though, make sure to keep it right-side-up in your shopping cart unless you’re open for business…

Anyway, this looks delicious and it’s done in only 30 minutes with minimal prep work!

All you have to do is dump and cook the ingredients! Check it out!

Instant Pot Pineapple Chicken

Courtesy of Catalina Castravet

Prep Time 5 mins / Cook Time 25 mins / Total Time 30 mins.  Serves 4

Ingredients:

Dump & Cook:
2 lbs chicken thighs cut into 1-2 inch pieces
1/3 cup low sodium soy sauce
2 tablespoons sesame oil
1 20 oz can pineapple chucks do NOT drain
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon ginger grated
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup hoisin sauce
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes optional

Cornstarch Slurry:
2 tablespoons pineapple juice
2 tablespoons cornstarch

Garnish:
4 green onions sliced
Sesame seeds
Slivered almonds

Instructions:
Open the pineapple can, set aside 1/4 cup of juice, the rest will be added to the pressure cooker.

Add all the ingredients from the “Dump & Cook” section to the Instant Pot: chicken, soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic, ginger, hoisin sauce, red pepper flakes, brown sugar and canned pineapple chunks with juice (except the 2 tablesppons that you’ll need for the cornstarch slurry).

Stir well to combine all the ingredients.

Close lid and make just the pressure cooker is sealed. Select the Poultry function and adjust the time to 5 minutes on High Pressure. Or just select Manual, and select 5 minutes on High Pressure.

Use a 10 minute Natural Release. Turn off the heat. Release the remaining pressure.

Open the lid.

Select again the Sauté function, on LOW.

In a small bowl combine 2 tablespoons of cornstarch with 2 tablespoons of pineapple juice, whisk until all combined with no lumps.

Add the mixture to the Instant Pot and gently stir to combine. Cook on Sauté function for a few more minutes, stirring gently, until the sauce thickens.

If you want the sauce even thicker, mix one more tablespoon of cornstarch with 1 tablespoon of juice and add it to the pressure cooker.

Let the chicken stand for 5-7 minutes, the sauce will thicken more.

Serve over rice and garnish with fresh chopped green onions, sesame seeds and slivered almonds.

Phenomnomnomenal, right? I need to try this recipe asap!

Before we head out, let’s to do another round of “What Do You Meme” where I share some of the best content that’s hit my newsfeed recently:

This first one makes me wish that I had kids…and a diesel car… seriously, has anyone else noticed these gas prices creeping back up lately?

Speaking of kids, this next one is actually terrifying!  Apparently, the hot new trend for parents is to save their kid’s teeth on these freaky voo-doo looking dolls now?  That reminds me, the tooth fairy still owes me money.  I haven’t forgotten… (for context, check out this post from last year)

Hmm, this next one sounds about right, except in my case, substitute coffee with bacon and wine with tacos…

Here’s a pineapple related one since that’s the general theme for this post.  Hmm, English is a strange language, eh?:

While we’re on the subject of citrus fruits, hmm….good question (these are the things that keep me awake at night people):

Seriously, you kids with your fancy iPhones and iPods have no idea of the struggle we endured back in the 90’s!:

It’s getting warm out there people, please conduct yourselves accordingly:

I’ve annoyed myself numerous times while eating chips and watching TV but never thought to use the subtitles!  #mindblown

I don’t drink, but a pizza tree sounds nice!  I’m going to drop some cheese and pepperoni in the ground and water it with marinara.  Wish me luck y’all!

Here are a few Mother’s Day meme’s – don’t forget, it’s this Sunday!  That hand sanitizer is real by the way!  You can get it via our Amazon Affiliate link by clicking here: https://amzn.to/2FTyOMa 

I also spotted this one on Amazon while shopping for my mother.  Fellas, if you ever walk into your new girlfriend’s house and see this on the counter, RUN!  (here’s the link if you’re interested in buying it though:  https://amzn.to/2KKGPqm )

This idea is cute but I doubt Mom would appreciate it coming from me at this age!  Which is a shame because I’d actually have a valid excuse for eating 9 popsicles this time…

While we’re discussing shopping, here are a few grocery store related memes…

And let’s close this one out with a few mental and physical fitness ones.  That “Follow your heart” advice is dangerous though – I usually end up at Chipotle whenever I do that…

For more crazy memes and content, follow The ®Fat Darrell Page on Facebook and @FatDarrellsLLC on Instagram by following the social media links on the menu!

Today’s Soundtrack

Come Baby Come – K7

Drip – Cardi B ft. Migos (Ayyy, what’s up Uncle Richard?!)

All On Me – George Kwali x Kideko

Do you have another song that fits today’s playlist or that’s just so good we should check it out anyway? Tell us about it in the comments below!

Okay that about does it for this week – but first, here’s your list of “foodie holidays” that will occur between now and next post:

Um, you can keep National Liver and Onions Day though…I’m good!

However, I do know several people who will be extremely happy about National Hummus Day!

As for National “Eat What You Want Day” – I do that at least once per week but okay, sure!

Again, don’t forget that Mother’s Day is on Sunday! If you put your Mom through even half of what I put mine through, you definitely owe her a card at the very least!

Anyway, please make sure to leave a comment below before you leave! It’s always great to hear from you plus, SEO matters, ya dig? 😉 (non-tech nerds feel free to look that term up).

Okay everybody, I wish you love, peace and tacos. I’ll see you on the flipside. Until next time my friends, May the Fork be With You…

-Darrell

“I just saw 3 people jogging outside and it inspired me to get up and close the blinds.”