3 Feet of Cheese and 5 Feet of Fury

Before we begin, let’s take a closer look at that tee, shall we?

Ooh, watch out y’all, it’s the dreaded “cobra strike!”

That my friends is what you call a “cheesy” pick up line…but that’s not what I’m referring to in the title! We’ll get to that later though. Patience Daniel-son (if you didn’t get that reference, face palm yourself and then go rent Karate Kid IMMEDIATELY! And no, not the remake, the OG 80’s version…).

Anyway, what’s up everybody? Welcome back to #DoubleFML FatDarrellPalooza!

I know that discussing the weather isn’t the most exciting subject, but what’s up with these frosty temperatures again? I thought we’d moved past that already? Are we not doing Spring this year?

I’d say “no” but the layer of misty pollen on my car says otherwise.

pollen.jpgGeorgia pollen is so thick it’s literally like green snow. I should have just conceded and painted my car tennis ball green so that I wouldn’t have to wash it as often. The pollen would just blend right in!

But yeah, it’s the worst of both worlds right now. The frigid cold temperatures of winter combined with the pollen of Spring with a random burst of Summer heat each afternoon to keep things interesting. Crazy times.

Anyway, for those of you who are regular readers and have been asking, no, I haven’t unpacked from my trip last week yet. Hey, some things never change, eh?

Shout out to my parents for mailing my favorite hat that I accidentally left at their house last week though!

Reunited and if feels so good…

That reminds me, what do you call this type of hat? (comment below!)

I normally go with “ski hat” but I’ve ended up having several debates over this.

Back in the day, I used to call them skully’s which was short for skull cap.

ski hatSome people call them beanies but aren’t those the ones with the poofy ball on the top? Whatever it is, I’m just glad to have it back.

I’ve had this Rutgers hat for nearly 15 years and it’s still my fave, so hey, thanks Marshalls of Tinton Falls, NJ!

I actually thought I lost it last year when it fell out of my car and remained on the ground outside of my apartment complex overnight. Aside from that brief scare though, this was the closest call I’ve had.

Of course, it wouldn’t have really been “lost” at my parent’s house. Although it fell in between the cedar chest and the foot of the bed, I’m sure it would have turned up eventually. That’s why I can fully relax whenever I visit. However, hotels are an entirely different story.

Last week when I visited Myrtle Beach, everyone else in my family placed their items in the dresser drawers at the hotel or hung their clothes in the closet.

Other people I know go as far as to bring their own sheets and place photos on the nightstand to make it more cozy. They essentially move in to the hotel room!

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What Say ye?  Comment below!

Me on the other hand? I live entirely out of my bag no matter how long the trip is.

I’m way too paranoid that I’ll leave something behind (and rightfully so as demonstrated by almost losing my favorite hat!) so all my stuff is always consolidated in one central area.

When I take off my shoes, they go next to my suitcase and If I buy something, that bag also goes next to my suitcase.

The wildest I get it is when I occasionally leave toothpaste and toiletries in the bathroom…but even that’s not a given!

I also obsessively recheck the entire room before I leave. Oh, and not just one time either. Nope, I check enough times to even make Dr. Sheldon Cooper proud (what, you don’t watch The Big Bang Theory?)! Hey, you can never be too careful, right?

lock (2)That’s why I always shake the door handle a few times to make sure it’s locked before I leave too. I also tend to hit the lock button on the remote to my car twice….then another time for good measure…and then 3,425 more times because I have issues.

I wouldn’t say that I have full-blown OCD but I definitely have my moments!

Aside from checking locks, I also hate when drawers or cabinets are left open. My father loves torturing me by opening every cabinet, door and drawer in the house whenever I’m around!

Fat Darrell gymIt’s controllable though so if I’m in a public setting, I’ll just let them stay open…but I’m definitely aware of the situation the entire time!

I also prefer to place my peanut butter on the left slice of bread and the jelly on the right but again, I won’t have a mental breakdown if I were forced to do the opposite.

Everybody has “their thing” though. What are some of yours? Comment below my fellow weirdos!

Oh yeah, speaking of weird (although most of my subjects are…), I’m officially changing my “backup” birthday.

I already happen to have the greatest birthday on the entire calendar (October 31 – Halloween) but I’ve always jokingly stated that if I had timed things incorrectly and missed that date, I would have waited until April Fool’s Day. I’m sure Mom would have been cool carrying me around for another 6 months, no biggie.

Anyway, that all changed the other day when my client told me that her boyfriend’s birthday is on May 5th aka Cinco de Mayo!

I haven’t pulled an April Fool’s Day prank in nearly a decade, but I’ve consistently drowned myself in tacos on May 5th so this date makes MUCH more sense! Sorry April 1, you’re now third. Arriba!

Apparently I’m part dragon…

Oh wait, that reminds me…here’s another cheesy pick-up line tee for you with a Cinco de Mayo twist!
Fat Darrell 5

Like I’ve said before, my dumb t-shirt collection runs deep my friends.

Speaking of pick up lines, here’s one that’s literally cheesy…

DoubleFML cheese

Pun-tastic!  Please note that you’ll most likely end up going home alone if you actually attempt to use that one…

But since I’m already sharing goofy pics and content from my newsfeed, let’s have a quick round of “What do you Meme” shall we?  

For you rookie readers, this is where I share content my friends and others have shared with me on social media!  Such as this hilarious first entry that “the Cheese Goddess” Angie Charpentier recently posted in our Facebook foodie group, Phenomnomnomenal (click here to join!):

 

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#facts

It’s funny because it’s true!  If you’re thinking about doing this, um yeah, don’t.  You’re welcome.

This next one is hilarious too…and um yeah, I’m also sorry.  

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 Here are some inspiration words from my friend Rashatta Daugett:

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This one was also posted in Phenomnomnomenal by Melinda Corse who makes a great point… (for the record, I’d eat 6 string cheeses in a row.  #yolo)

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Wait, this is a thing?  I agree with Cullen Rutherford, what is going on in Texas?  Although, upon further consideration, I’m not mad at this idea…

DoubleFML pickle (2)Last but not least is a tear jerker that Karen Joan McQuillen also posted in Phenomnomnomenal (you seriously haven’t joined yet?  What is wrong with you?).  This one really does make me sad.  If this were real, I might have to “5-second rule” those bad boys…

DoubleFML bacon

Yay, that was fun.  But speaking of bacon… (I know, that was an elaborate segue…don’t try this at home kids, I’m a pro)

So, many of you know that I’m always looking for an excuse to visit my home state of New Jersey. Well, I’ve found yet another reason – and this may even be worth braving the snow they’re still expected to get hit with up there (…ouch, sorry friends)!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I proudly present to you, Bacon Beach Grille in Long Branch, NJ!

O…M….G….feast your eyes on some of these menu selections!

Chocolate covered bacon! Bacon covered jalapeno poppers! Bacon Mac and Cheese! A bacon Bloody Mary and Bacon milkshakes! What?!

Count me in. Next time I’m in town, I’m absolutely stopping by this place to try them out for myself! It looks #phenomnomnomenal (did I mention that’s also the name of our foodie group on Facebook. Click here to join NOW!)!

You can also check Bacon Beach Grille out on Facebook by clicking here.

While we’re on the subject of gluttony, that brings us to the inspiration for today’s title!

Wrestlemania was this past Sunday (featuring my favorite WWE superstar Alexa Bliss aka “5 feet of fury) which seemed like a perfectly good reason to buy a pizza!

Other good reasons to buy a pizza? Because it’s Monday….or because it’s Tuesday….or because it’s Wednesday….or because it’s any day that ends with the letters “d-a-y” for that matter.

Anyway, Little Caesars has this new ExtraMostBestest Stuffed Crust Pizza that literally contains 3 feet of mozzarella cheese! Mama Mia! No wonder they gave me so many napkins!

Truth be told, I normally prefer a regular crust to stuffed but this I had to try and boy am I glad that I did!

While a literal arm’s length of cheese runs the risk of being “too much of a good thing,” it works here! It’s actually delicious and best of all, you get pepperoni, sauce and a ton of cheese literally in every bite!

Sweet Dreams are made of this…

The stuffed crust is perfectly balanced unlike the ones I’ve had in the past from their competitors. This reminded me more of cheesy bread where I can still enjoy the crust with the added bonus of cheese inside.

The stuffed crust I had in the past lacked that balance, so the cheese overpowered all the other ingredients which isn’t nearly as tasty as it sounds. Perhaps the difference is the Little Caesars crust but the ExtraMostBestest provides a perfect harmony of ingredients despite having twice as many of them!

As I said during my review of their BBQ Smokehouse pizza, Little Caesars has really come a long way since the tiny slice days back in the 90’s. Ever since the relaunch several years ago, they’ve been among the tastiest pizza franchises out there…and easily the best value! This monstrosity goes for a mere $9 but even the regular $5 version is delicious.

Of course, it can never compare to local NJ/NYC pizza (personal bias – there’s no place like home Toto…) but as far as national chains are concerned? I’m a believer. “Pizza Pizza” indeed.

The signage says this is a limited time offering so give this thing a shot before it’s gone!

Although I was perfectly fine after downing the entire thing myself (No shame in my game #teamgreedy), a yard-stick length of cheese is a lot to handle for most people. With that said, you might want to stock up on magazines for your bathroom first…or at least make sure your phone is fully charged.

Do you have a food item, recipe or restaurant we should all try? Tell us about it in the comments below!

MFMAs mentioned above, cheese and dairy products don’t always agree with everyone’s system.

Although gluten is the trendiest and most popular food allergy people claim to have, that may not be the only culprit causing your gut issues.

The best way to determine which foods are actually to blame is to have your doctor or nutritionist run a food allergy test for you. That’s the most direct path, although it may be pricey.

With that said, another great way to determine which foods your body might have an adverse reaction to is by doing a detox where you don’t have any of the usual suspects for at least 10-14 days. From there, gradually introduce each item back into your diet, one at a time and pay attention to how your body responds.

Even if your body has a reaction to any of these items, all hope isn’t lost. If you’d still like to consume your favorite foods despite their newly banned status, your body may simply need help digesting them.

Depending on your eating habits, your system may just be in need of additional probiotics and digestive enzymes. Most health and nutrition stores have an entire section of these items which should help you better process the foods you’re consuming without the pain and bloating you may have grown accustomed to.

thank youYou can also purchase them on Amazon by clicking our affiliate link here!  You’ll still get the same low prices and great deals, we just receive a small commission for referring you.  Thanks for your support!

There’s a very fine line between an actual food allergy and a nutrient deficiency.

Learning the difference could just save you a lifetime of bellyaches!

Do you have a fitness question, goal or accomplishment you’d like to share? Tell us about it in the comments below!

Today’s Soundtrack

Blue Cheese – 2 Chainz ft. Migos

No Limit – G Eazy ft. ASAP Rocky & Cardi B

Sweet Dreams (White Label House Mix) – Eurythmics (sweet dreams like Alexa Bliss showing up at my apartment holding an ExtraMostBestest pizza for example…)

Do you have another song that fits today’s themes or that’s just so great we should check it out anyway?  Tell us about it in the comments below!

Before we head out, apparently I missed the memo that National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day was last Monday…although I may have unintentionally celebrated anyway.

Still, with all of these new foodie holidays seemingly popping up each week, it’s becoming hard to keep up!

With that said, as a public service, I’m now going to start listing all of the random foodie holidays that will occur during the time between this and next post. You’re welcome.

phenomnomnomenal

Wow, looks like National Grilled Cheese Day is coming up on Thursday (I think I may have just heard my friend Sasha J do a cartwheel from here…)! I’m definitely celebrating that one!

Speaking of grilled cheese, I saw this video with Martha Stewart making one using mayo instead of butter (or in addition to butter. She still spreads some inside but the outside layer is mayonnaise). Hmm, sounds interesting. Have any of you ever done this? I’ve never tried that before…but I may have to now.

chelseabrooks
Happy Birthday Chelsea!

Saturday is also our resident MMA superstar, Chelsea Brooks’, birthday! Ironically, she also shared the cauliflower grilled cheese that she made with us in this post from last year so it’s somewhat ironic that her birthday is also this week!

If you read our End It Part 2 post, you might also remember Chelsea as the badass chick demonstrating those self-defense moves to prevent a potential attack!

If you haven’t seen that video yet, or want to watch again, you can check it out on YouTube by clicking here!

Also be sure to show Chelsea some birthday love in the comments below!

She’ll be turning….nope…wait….sharing a woman’s age is always a bad idea. Especially when said woman is capable of choking you out with at least a dozen submission holds! So um yeah, nevermind but Happy birthday #Bandida!

I’d be remiss if I didn’t also share the tragic follow-up to that End-It post however. My good friend Angie Kellar is currently mourning the loss of her 21-year-old niece Tianna who was abducted for a second time by the same attackers she described in that post.
Tianna’s case is currently still being investigated.

This is obviously a very difficult time for the Kellar family, however Angie has requested that people share this image with the hashtag #justice4tianna to help raise awareness and prevent this from happening to others.

Justice
#justice4tianna

 

Sorry to end this on a sad note, but it’s important that I remind you all to stay alert and vigilant as this really could happen to anyone.

There’s not much more I can say after dropping that bombshell so we’ll close on that.

Make sure to click the buttons on the side panel to follow me on social media and please drop a comment before you leave!

Until next time my friends, May the Fork Be With You…

-Darrell

ps.  Get well soon Skip Miller!  And hang in there Priscilla! 😉 #UnicornMagic 

13 thoughts on “3 Feet of Cheese and 5 Feet of Fury

  1. Just looking at that pollen made me want to sneeze, but then I saw that delicious pizza and it all went away. Lol These guys should pay you for s much great publicity! Love those memes and pics.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Enjoyed your post! I see you are sporting your favorite hat again, thanks to mom lol. Can’t believe it is cold again! I am so proud of you for the making the bold statement against human trafficking by posting info in your blog! My heart definitely goes out to all victims and their families.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are hilarious!!! I am definitely on your #teamgreedy when it comes to pizza!!!. When I saw the bacon on the floor, I thought about a good friend of mine. Guess what he would do? …Pick it up and eat it. His love for bacon outweighs where it is coming from. lol I am trying to figure out how many T-shirts you have and where you store all of them. Your secret huh?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I’d have to pick that bacon up too! Throwing it away would feel like blasphemy! As for an exact count on the tees? Wow, that’s a great question. I’m not sure I can even count that high lol

      Like

  4. Just want to alert you that my friends and I are supporting your doublefml deals and discounts. Just completed a small Amazon order and getting ready soon for a large one! Great post and we thank you for taking your valuable time out to share your rewarding experiences with us!!!. You are a great writer and we appreciate you. Keeping an eye on the upcoming foodie days. Why? Because we are just like you…Love to eat!!!lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a good piece D.B. ( I half unpack hanging stuff up. This, so I can find the rest of my stuff that’s plastic wrapped in the suitcase.)

      Liked by 1 person

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