Hey, what’s up everybody? Welcome back to #DoubleFML FatDarrellPalooza!

I know, that title and cover photo are a bit random, but I just finished binge-watching a bunch of X-Files and Ancient Aliens episodes.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with either of these shows, The X-Files is the fictitious story of 2 FBI Agents who investigate paranormal activity. Ancient Aliens on the other hand, is a show on History channel that’s actually presented like a documentary.

The panelists on this show crack me up though because they can literally crowbar their alien theory into any discussion. They’re like “why do you think bananas turn brown after several days? Aliens.”

“Have you also ever wondered why you can’t put toothpaste back into the tube once you’ve squeezed it out? Aliens.”

It’s both absurd yet fascinating at the same time. But don’t worry, I’m not about to start building a UFO welcome center like the one I showed you in Bowman, SC! I just watch these shows for fun, although they definitely make you think! …especially at 3 in the morning when you’re already half delirious.

Aside from those 2 shows, I also watched a few episodes of Modern Family which features this heavenly body…

I mean, clearly Sophia Vergara is from another planet. Look at her!

So, it’s no wonder that I had aliens and UFO’s on the brain when I came up with today’s title.

Oh yeah, it doesn’t help that I’m also wearing this shirt right now…

When I bought this shirt several years ago, it was just a joke but now, not so much. I used to look out for people now I look out for people…if you get my drift.

“I used to look out for people, now I look out for people…”

Anyway, aside from catching up on TV shows, I finally got to check out Black Panther! It’s no wonder that this movie is already the biggest Marvel Comics movie release of all time, it’s incredible! The acting, the outfits, the fight sequences, the story, the music, everything was spot on!

Batman is still my favorite superhero, but I may have to consider being Black Panther for Halloween. For starters, I can actually look like Black Panther. Bruce Wayne? Not so much (see exhibit A).

Although I’m sure a thousand people probably have the same costume idea already, so I may change my mind on this before October. My girlfriend has already stated that she wants to dress as Wonder Woman though, so we shall see.

Oh yeah, while we’re on the subject of Batman, my friend Sarah Farrell sent me a listing for an original 1966 Batmobile that’s for sale in Florida! Seriously, here’s the link to the actual ad!

What?! Although the price isn’t listed, I’m guessing that it’s a fortune so with that said, do any of you happen to have an extra $500,000 lying around to buy this for me?  

And while I’m making outlandish requests, can you also buy this Swarovski Crystal covered pink Lamborghini for me to give to my girl too? Thanks!

Anyway, I don’t want to spoil the Black Panther movie for anyone who hasn’t checked it out yet, so don’t worry, I’m not going to give away any key plot points here. I will say however, that you need to stay until the very end! And by end, I mean until all of the credits have finished rolling.

It surprises me how many people left when the music started playing at the end! Have you people not seen a movie in the past 10 years? There’s almost always an extra scene during the credits and in this case, there are 2!

Most of the film takes place in the fictional African city of Wakanda. With that said, this display in the Atlanta airport was pure marketing genius!

My friend was mocking his son for asking him if Wakanda was a real city in Africa but that’s a pretty valid question. I mean, how many real African cities can you name? Most people can’t even get past 10, so the names of the rest is anyone’s guess. I’m sure this question is already giving Geography teachers fits!

Speaking of teachers, I can’t say that I agree with that idea to arm them! Most of the teachers I had could barely make it through class without dropping their chalk at the blackboard, so I definitely would not have trusted any of them with a firearm!

Aside from being grossly underpaid, teachers have enough to worry about, especially with class clowns like me under their watch, so let them focus on teaching. That job is already complicated and important enough! Besides, even with training, in the heat of the moment there is just way too much that could go wrong and would probably just make the situation worse in my humble opinion.

Possibly having armed professional security or police officers on duty is a discussion worth debate (not here though, save your gun law and political discussions for your Facebook rants!), but arming the teachers? C’mon man!

Wait, am I still aloud to say that? “Man”? My friend Kim sent me an article about a Purdue University inspired movement to ban the word ‘man’ and any variation of it like ‘man-made’ or ‘mankind’ because it promotes gender bias?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s clearly not what I meant, however for anyone offended, please feel free to change my previous statement to “C’mon human or um C’mon person” if that helps. My bad!

Wait, can I at least still say the ‘man’ at the end of the word ‘woman’ or am I supposed to just say “wo” now? I’ll have to read up, it’s so hard not to offend anyone in 2018.

Anyway, back to superheroes for a second! Some kid left this Spiderman…wait…um….Spiderperson (?) action figure at my gym for over a month.

I’m not sure what it says about my maturity level that everyone thought this was mine…although now it is!

The gym owner (what’s up Erick?!) was about to throw it away since it’s sat in our office for so long so hey, why not, right?

So yeah, I brought it home and put it in my home office but not until I soaked it in disinfectant for several hours! Kids have cooties…we all know that.

I didn’t realize this thing also made noise until I had it propped in my sink to dry off though. Halfway through the drying process, it fell over and must have hit the on switch. Suddenly I started hearing all of these weird blipping space noises and then it sounded like someone was talking through a walkie talkie. Ironically, this happened during that 3am Ancient Aliens binge watch I told you about earlier, so I nearly fell off my couch! I had no idea what was going on for at least 5 minutes! I swear, that thing almost gave me a heart attack!

Anyway, if the kid who left this thing ever shows back up, I’d be happy to bring it back for him. Although we may have to have a foot race or play rocks, paper, scissors for it or something to determine who gets to keep it now…just kidding! Maybe…

Speaking of foot races, people were so quick to jump all over Fergie about her rendition of The National Anthem that they forgot about the true worst rendition of all time! With that said, ladies and gentleman, I present to you, Olympic Track and Field Champion Carl Lewis! Enjoy…

Oh my. This is the video that should help Fergie sleep better at night. For worst anthem ever, Carl Lewis definitely takes home the gold medal!

Unfortunately, our US Olympic athletes didn’t take home very many of those during the Winter Games. There were still plenty of thrill, chills and spills though, so it was a fun 2 weeks.

Speaking of gold medals, how about that final goal in the women’s hockey championship match (around the 2:23 mark in the video below)?

Wow! I’m not normally even a big hockey fan but that was one sick move!

The men’s curling team also brought home the gold which inspired my friend Mike to buy his wife a new broom since they use those in curling. He said that he was going to tell her to practice for the 2022 games by “cleaning the kitchen for a change.” I’ll let you know how that conversation goes next time I speak to him. I’d imagine that he should be out of the hospital in several weeks if he actually goes through with that stunt!

Oh yeah, for those of you who don’t follow me on social media (which you should! Do so by clicking the icons on the side panel), I ripped my pants at the gym again. I’d like to think it’s because my legs are getting more muscular, but it could also be due to all the Oreo O’s cereal I’ve eaten since last post! (remind me to ad the song “Too Much Booty in Da Pants” to today’s soundtrack!)

If you read my Epic Gym Fails post, you’ll know that this isn’t the first time, but in the past, I at least knew that it happened right away. This time however, I didn’t notice until I looked in the mirror (at least 10 minutes after my pants must have split during squats) and realized that the entire side of my leg was exposed! Ah, another day in the life of Darrell. I swear that I’m living inside of a sitcom sometimes…

Anyway, before we move on, let’s do a quick round of “What Do You Meme?”

For those of you who are new readers, this is where I share some of the best online content that’s been shared with me recently. With that said, check these out!

Let’s start off with a Batman inspired meme – ha this one is puntastic!

All I can say about this next one is “but why tho”?  Actually, I won’t lie, I once considered having someone place their hand on top of my head and shaving that shape into my hair.  But I never actually did it!  This guy on the other hand….wow.  I know that I encourage people to “let their freak flag fly” but his flag is definitely flying at unchartered heights!  Oh my…

And while we’re on the subject of hair.  Although I fully embrace my aerodynamic “Mr. Clean look,” I do love hats.  So I wonder how many women have seen me and thought that I had huge afro or something hidden under that cap?  Ha…nope!

Okay, this one is just disturbing!

This next one is actually a great idea!  Why didn’t anyone think of this when I was single?

This is another great idea if I ever host a party at my place…

Check it out!  My friend made a snow chick (that’s not the actual term that she used but I’m keeping it PG here)!  She even used a real wig!  That’s hilarious.  I’m guessing this snow chick would definitely take one of those blue cups from the options above!  

If only…

I love steak and all, but I’d still like to trade… what did you get?  Comment below!

This is hilarious!  Don’t do it Natalia!  You might rip your gym pants too!

Thanks for turning these off first Mom!  I used to love getting these!  I always got the beaters and the spoon.  My brother always got the bowl.  Good times…

Last but not least, Adidas commissioned artists to create shoes to represent each state and check out the ones that artist Jenny K made for my home state of New Jersey!  Ha, she nailed it!  Oh yeah, and you know I’d actually wear these, right?  

Anyway, speaking of pizza, did you know that Olive Garden just unveiled a brand new menu item, The Meatball Pizza Bowl?

It’s literally an edible bread bowl filled with meatballs, cheese and sauce! Um, yes please!

Needless to say, the second that I heard about this concoction, I ran straight to my car and drove to Olive Garden immediately! What I didn’t know however, was that this item is only available for lunch (until 3pm) and not dinner so keep that in mind before you head over to check it out.

Anyway, I returned the next day (yes, when it comes to food, I’m VERY persistent) and voila, here it is!

So yeah, as you can see, it’s not the size of a calzone which I literally dreamed about! It’s about 6-7 inches across. At first, I was thinking that this might not be enough to contain my greedy appetite, but when you factor in that this also comes with a huge salad, breadsticks and a mint chocolate treat, you definitely get your money’s worth! This huge meal is only going to set you back around $9 so that’s pretty awesome.

I actually got mine to go and I have to say that I was really impressed by their takeout service. They didn’t miss a single detail! Seriously, they even give you grated cheese for the salad!

It felt just like I was sitting in the actual restaurant! All that was missing was faux Italian art and loud operatic music to complete my home dining experience.

As for the Meatball pizza? It was really good! It was packed full of gooey cheese and plenty of sauce. I was also impressed that they didn’t skimp on the meatballs as I had feared they might.

The bread bowl was also really good! It was like a larger version of their already addicting breadsticks with a little extra crunch and seasoning.

Again, I still wish that it was slightly larger since it was a sad moment when I took my last bite. However, I think that has more to do with my greed than a mistake on their part. When you account for everything else that comes with this, it’s more than enough for most appetites and again, only $9! Hmm, maybe next time I’ll buy 2…

Do you have another food item, restaurant or recipe we should all try out? Tell us in the comments below! Also join our foodie group on Facebook, Phenomnomnomenal, by clicking here!

Today’s fitness tip is a reminder of the amazing healing power of exercise and proper nutrition. Many mental and physical issues that we struggle with daily can be greatly reduced by just staying active and paying better attention to the foods we eat. Obviously, you should still consult a physician for serious issues but generally speaking, physical activity and proper nutrition can help regulate stress, sleep, arthritis and more!

So, the next time that you’re feeling down, before you reach into the medicine cabinet, also consider reaching into your fridge for a healthy snack then into your closet for your workout clothes! Just make sure they fit properly. Take it from me, you don’t want those pants to split open in the middle of the gym! DoubleFML indeed.

Do you have a fitness question, goal or accomplishment you’d like to share? Tell us about it in the comments below!

Today’s Soundtrack

Pray for Me – Kendrick Lamar ft. The Weeknd (from The Black Panther soundtrack…which is REALLY good by the way)

Africa – Toto (Can you name more than 10 cities?)

Here We Come – Timbaland ft. Magoo and Missy Elliot (this uses the old Spiderman them if you’re unsure of the relevance…)

Dance Too Much Booty (In Da Pants) – 2 Live Crew (RIP to my camouflage workout pants ☹)

Do you have another song that fits today’s themes? Do you have a song that doesn’t fit today’s themes but it just so incredible we should check it out anyway? Tell us in the comments below!

Before we go, I’d like to give a special shout out to those of you who always leave a comment below. I really appreciate that! And to the rest of you, don’t be shy, you know what to do!

Also make sure to check out our #DoubleFML Deals and Discounts page. There really are some great discounts over there and more are on the way!

Warm weather is also on the way (at least here in the US) as well so hang in there! It’s almost March already! Wow, this year is really flying by.

Anyway, that’s a wrap everybody. Let’s make it a great week! Until next time my friends, May the Fork be With You…

-Darrell

“Wow, time travel isn’t nearly as fun as it was in 2145…”