Yep, kumquat. I know, it sounds scandalous, right? It’s actually just a citrus fruit but man that name sure does sound nasty doesn’t it?!

 

In the Christmas in July post, I used the word “titular” which also sounds unintentionally vulgar so without further ado, let’s just dive right into my top 10 innocent words that sound unintentionally dirty, shall we? In no particular order, we have the following:

10. Titular – yeah, let’s just start off with the first 2 words that started this mess lol. So yeah, the word “titular” really just references a person or thing where the name of a work of art is taken from. It’s also used to describe a person of authority who lacks actual power…otherwise known as a “figurehead” which is a word that could have easily made this list too! Figurehead…that’s what she said.

9. Kumquat – we just went over this one but yeah, it’s just a citrus fruit. But man, that name though! Um, I’m sorry but excuse me miss? Could you please keep your kumquat away from my drink? I don’t know where it’s been…

8. Exacerbate – this one simply means to “make something worse” but it still sounds like something you probably shouldn’t do in public…

7. Pussyfoot – Yeah, this one is self-explanatory. Pussyfoot? Um, you might want to get that checked. As for the true definition, it just means “non-committal” (oh yeah, and honorable mention for the “Pussy Willow Bush” which despite technically being 3 words, is the name of one singular type of pornographic sounding shrub)

 

6. Crevice – Ewe… this just sounds sweaty, greasy and disgusting. Come on man (©ESPN Sunday Countdown lol football is just around the corner folks!)! Please just use a different word.

 

5. Dictation – I know this just means to take notes but if your boss ever asks you to “take this dictation” I’m pretty sure you’d be able to file a report to HR without question…

 

4. Bungalow – This one is just a single level house with a wide porch but if someone asks you if you “want to slide into their bungalow”, there’s a 50/50 chance they could actually be referring to a different type of “wide porch” if you know what I’m saying.

 

3. Rear-ended – This one is too easy. Back during a brief stint I did, working for Enterprise Rent-a-Car, this sweet older lady approached the counter and loudly described her car accident to me. She kept saying that someone came out of nowhere, “rear-ended her” and “slammed her from behind.” She must have used those terms at least 26 times. It took all the restraint that my immature mind could muster for my head not to explode! Hopefully they at least bought her dinner first…

 

2. Ornery – This one is typically used to describe mischievous old men but it sounds a bit more scandalous than just “mischievous” doesn’t it?

 

1. Moist – yep, everyone hates this one for some reason. Unless you’re describing cake, there’s no reason this word should ever come out of your mouth…and even then, it would still be questionable lol. Moist. Ewe…

What other innocent words can you think of that sound unintentionally dirty? Comment below!

Okay, since we’re already on this downward spiral of immaturity, check out this street sign from I-85 down here in Atlanta!

 

How can I ever become a fully functioning “adult” when I still can’t drive past Beaver Ruin Road without giggling? Adulting is hard…

Oh yeah, I also laugh every time that I pass this restaurant! 

 

Fung Mei? No, Fung You pal!

And hey, if I’m going to offend anyone with this post, I probably already have by now so I might as well just keep on going.  So check out this photo that I took last year in Toronto as well.

 

Eh, this joke’s way too easy, make up your own lol… 

So speaking of Toronto, this was supposed to be the post where I told you all about my trip to Toronto this past weekend for the 50th annual Caribana Festival (don’t worry, I’ll explain what that is in a second, stay tuned…) but unfortunately I didn’t get to go.

Facebook seems to have no problem with pouring salt into the wound though because photos from all the times I’ve gone in the past keep hitting my “Facebook Memories” newsfeed. So um yeah, thanks for nothing Zuckerberg! Seriously though, have you ever been jealous of yourself? 2016 me was sure having a great time!

Based on the event coverage I’ve seen, it rained during the parade and was a bit chilly so that makes me feel a little better I suppose. Wait, hold up! Ha, that sounds horrible now that I think about it! I mean, I hope that everyone who went still had a great time! I’m just glad that I didn’t pay a ton of money to go if it rained most of the event.

Now that I think about it though, it did rain while I was there a few years ago and it was actually pretty awesome dancing in the street so I’m back to being salty that I didn’t get to go now! But hey, there’s always next year I suppose.

Before I continue, I’m sure many of you are wondering what the Caribana Festival is so allow me to explain (see?  I told you that I’d get around to that…). I’m sure that most of you have heard of World or Caribbean Carnival before right? You know, with the elaborate costumes, parades and festive music? If so, there you go. Here are a few photos from past trips:

I’m not sure why, but I somehow get pulled into the parade each year so I may need to officially participate one year! And no, I’m not actually from The Caribbean but I do love the music and culture so it’s still a great time!

This festival is held in major cities around the world throughout the year and Caribana is Toronto’s version of the festival. it’s actually the largest Carnival celebration in North America, however the one you’ve most likely heard of is Mardi Gras which takes place in New Orleans (if you’re curious, here’s a website that shows all of the celebrations from around the world beginning in January and running straight through to November! http://carnivalinfo.com/2016/11/27/caribbean-world-carnival-dates-2017/).

The Atlanta version was held here in May but it’s just not the same (actually, it’s not even close.  Step your game up ATL!). The New York version will be held on Labor Day though and Miami has their version in October so perhaps I’ll go to one or both of those to make up for missing out on Toronto.

In all fairness though, I have been to Toronto 6 times now so I really should go somewhere else this year anyway. But at this point, I’d just be happy to have a day off! I’ve literally worked every day since May so a vacation is long overdue!  I know that I used that Forrest Gump meme last post but boy is it true!

Aside from the rushed mini-adventure that I described in my 96 post, I haven’t taken a non-business trip yet this year! So far, 2017 has just been one long Rihanna song…you know, “work, work, work, work, work…” so I definitely need to change that asap! Hmm….but where? I have a few ideas but first, I’d love to hear your suggestions so comment below with your travel recommendations!

Okay, so I’ve admittedly only ever laughed at the name “kumquat” but I’ve never had one or bothered to learn much about them until now. Apparently these bad boys are packed with a ton of nutrients and health benefits though!

First of all, they’re only about 71 calories per 100 grams and they’re packed with antioxidants like vitamins A, C, and E. They also contain minerals like iron, zinc, calcium, potassium, lutein, B-vitamins and more! …like, a lot more! Wow, I had no idea.

Apparently, the peel has even more nutrients although that’s probably pretty gross unless you throw it into a smoothie or something. Taste aside, the peel is supposedly good for teeth, digestion, cell growth, digestion, cancer prevention… this is an extremely long list actually so long story short, this fruit is amazing!

They peak between November and June so it may be tricky to find any now, but I’ll definitely have to give these a shot in a few months. Who knew that something that sounds so filthy could be so pure and wholesome?

Do you have a fitness related question you’d like answered or an accomplishment you’d like to share? Tell us about it in the comments below!

 

Since we’re on a kumquat kick (ouch! Ha that sounds painful doesn’t it?) right now, here are a few recipes to try if you can find any. The seem to only be available in California, Southeaster States and the Far East but if your grocery store is Boujee enough, they might have them too!

 

Anyway, here are a couple of recipes that look like they might be worth trying!
This first one appeared on Snoop Dogg’s homegirl, Martha Stewart’s show! Check it out…

Grilled Chicken with Kumquat-Lemongrass Dressing

Courtesy of chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten
Serves 4

Ingredients
1 teaspoon chili powder
2 teaspoons turmeric powder
1 tablespoon sugar
Coarse salt
4 boneless, skinless, chicken breast halves, skin on
Olive oil, for drizzling
Kumquat-Lemongrass Dressing
Cilantro leaves, thinly sliced
Steamed asparagus, for serving (optional)

Directions

In a small bowl, mix together chile powder, turmeric, and sugar; season with salt. Rub chicken with spice mixture, place in a dish, cover, and refrigerate at least 2 hours or up to overnight.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Preheat grill pan over medium-high heat.

Drizzle (foshizzle?) chicken breasts on with olive oil and place on grill pan. Cook until browned, turning once. Transfer chicken to a baking sheet and continue cooking in the oven, until cooked through, 10 to 12 minutes. Divide asparagus between 4 serving plates.

Top each with a chicken breast. Spoon dressing over chicken, garnish with cilantro, and serve.

And shoutout to all of my vegan peeps, this one’s for you…although anyone is welcome to try 😊

Vegan Kumquat Coconut Oatmeal Cookies (gluten-, refined-sugar- and oil-free, low-fat)

Courtesy of Jasmine Briones of Sweet Simple Vegan
Prep Time: 10 mins / Cook Time: 32 mins / Total Time: 42 minutes
Makes 14-16 cookies

Ingredients
1 cup gluten-free rolled oats
1/2 cup gluten-free flour
12 medjool dates
3/4 cup quartered kumquats, seeds removed
2 medium bananas
1/4 cup unsweetened dried coconut
1.5 tbs chia seeds + 3 tbs water
1/4 tsp vanilla powder
1/8 tsp ground cinnamon

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 F and line a large baking sheet with parchment paper or a nonstick baking sheet.

Grind chia seeds and mix with 3 tbs water. Set aside to thicken.

Place the kumquats and dates into a food processor and run until chopped into small bits.

Add in the bananas and chia gel and run until smooth (It will be a bit chunky but no worries!).

In a large bowl, mix in the remaining ingredients, then add in the wet mixture. Mix until uniform.

Using a 2-3 tbs cookie scoop (or try 1/2 of a 1/4 cup measure), divide cookies. Roll into balls and place onto the baking sheet. Press down until 1/2″ thick and about 1.5″ wide.
Place into the oven for 20 minutes. Remove, flip, and bake for another 12 minutes.

Cool for 10 minutes and serve with almond milk.

Despite the uber-healthy ingredients, these actually sound like they’ll taste pretty good! There are a lot more recipes out there for this surprise ingredient so click around a few www’s and see what you find!

Do you have another recipe or unique ingredient that we should check out? How about a restaurant suggestion? Tell us about it in the comments below!

Okay, before this crazy train rolls to a complete stop, it’s dumb t-shirt time!

Did you know that “tacocat” spelled backwards is “tacocat”? Well you do now! You’re welcome…

Today’s Soundtrack

Unforgettable – French Montana ft. Swae Lee (might as well continue with The Caribbean theme)

Jump – Major Lazer ft. Busy Signal (Oh, no I was serious, it’s all Reggae and Soca this week – this is as close as I can get to Caribana since I missed out lol)

Body – Sean Paul ft. Migos (if you watch this video, the women are dressed in Carnival outfits)

Regulate – Warren G ft. Nate Dogg (ha this one’s not a Reggae or Soca track but it is a dedication…and a classic!)

Do you have another song that fits today’s theme or that we should just check out in general because it’s that good? Tell us about it in the comments below!

Before we wrap this one up, thanks to all who wished me well last week. I felt much better by the weekend so I was finally able to go see Atomic Blonde. It was great! Charlize Theron did an amazing job. She was like a female James Bond, I give it 2 thumbs up…..but it is Rated R and pretty graphic at times so that’s your warning.

Also thanks to all who wished my little nephew a Happy Birthday last week as well! He also finally got his cast off so again, thanks to all who have asked.

“All who have asked? But where? There are hardly any comments on your posts” um yeah, for some reason, you guys love to make comments in private messages but are shy about posting on this page? But posting here helps to keep the conversation going and reflects how large my audience actual is so if you’d like to help this site grow, please post below! Hey, that rhymed! I feel like Johnny Cochran right now… (btw, if you got that reference um yeah, you’re old…)

Anyway, you know the usual spiel – follow me on social media people. The Fat Darrell page on Facebook in particular has had some great conversations this past week. Instagram has been poppin lately too so follow me now by clicking on the side panel.

As for events this week, I’ll personally be grand opening a new kickboxing studio down here in Buford, GA so that’ll be exciting. From there, I’ll probably head out to this Reggae in the Park event that’s taking place on Saturday which will hopefully make me feel a little less salty (hmm, would that make me low-sodium?) about missing out on my trip. That’s about all that I’ve got planned but since my life is basically a sitcom, we’ll see what else I end up getting into.

What about you guys? What’s on the agenda this week?

Okay, that’s about all for now. See how quickly you can work all of the words that I mentioned above into a conversation this week and report back when you complete the mission! In the meantime, let’s make it a great week people and May the Fork be With You…

-Darrell

“That’s what” – She