Hey, what’s up everybody? Welcome back to #DoubleFML – FatDarrellPalooza! Since so many of you have told me how much you enjoyed last month’s collection of memes, today is going to be another round! But before we get to that, let’s first talk about a few of the random adventures that I had in New York over the past few days.
Yes, I just flew back to Atlanta (and boy are my arms tired….lol yep, I used that awful joke last month too!) but since I was sitting next to the extremely observant Sasha J, I actually read those safety instructions for the very first time in recent memory!
Besides, we were also seated right next to the flight attendant giving the directions so I felt added pressure to actually pay attention this time. And although he did a great job with the presentation, I still have a few lingering questions about this lovely pamphlet that American Airlines provided us with:
1. In case of a water landing, is it really necessary to first change outfits and dye my hair before exiting the plane just like the lady in the illustration apparently did? Is pink the preferred color to wear before you drown or get eaten by a shark?
2. What’s up with the black ninja ski mask on the shadowy figure looking out the window?
3. Who’s still using VHS camcorders and Sony Discman cd-players on flights? Is this a new hipster trend or something (at first I thought that the pamphlet was just old but it was printed just last year!)?
4. And what is that baby’s arm workout? Seriously, look at the arms they drew on that kid lol why’s he so jacked? He even looks like he’s flexing in picture 7…
I obviously hope that I’m never on a plane that requires an emergency landing, but I would be curious to see if the people seated next to the emergency exits actually stick around to help or bail to save themselves.
That would be a pretty interesting social experiment! I mean sure, the flight attendants always talk to the people in those seats before takeoff but nobody actually expects to ever have to do anything! I’ve only been seated next to the emergency exits once but I wasn’t looking to be a hero, I just wanted extra leg room! Oh, but I would now like one of the black ninja masks next time too if possible…
Anyway, I was flying to NY for a fitness conference with the 4 instructors on my team. Unfortunately all of the hotels near the conference were booked so we had to look into an AirBNB house rental instead.
The first one that I found was pretty sweet. It was modern with lots of open space and a huge kitchen. 5 giant bedrooms for each of us and a Jacuzzi hot tub! Unfortunately, the owner double-booked his place so we got bumped out last minute and had to find a replacement. That replacement was a bit different to say the least lol.
Don’t get me wrong, it was a very nice house in a quiet area but we lost several of the perks of the other location. For starters, there were only 4 rooms instead of 5. I made sure that she had 2 full bathrooms though since I was traveling with 4 women so at least that part worked out…although one of the bathroom doors didn’t lock.
What made it awkward, however, was that the owner wasn’t some young dude who would just toss me the keys and disappear like the first house. No, in this case, the owner was an elderly woman who stayed downstairs in the basement with her husband the entire time we were there!
She was super sweet and even had the fridge stocked with food for us so she was nice and accommodating but it was still a pretty awkward weekend!
For starters, she had all of these grandma rules posted throughout the house about no shoes on the carpet and no phones on the toilet. Plus the TV’s only had about 4 channels that actually worked!
There were also a few cameras aimed right at the couch and dining room table so if a Youtube Video ever surfaces of me eating a blueberry muffin and chips at 3am, you know the source.
It was also awkward tip-toeing around since the floors squeaked so much and I didn’t want to wake up grandma downstairs. Although…who knows what was going on down there anyway? Maybe she wasn’t just a sweet little old lady and instead she had some freaky 50 Shades of Grey dungeon downstairs. (Important PSA- NEVER EVER Google search the term “freaky grandma”… I was trying to find an image to add to this paragraph and let’s just say, um…I’ve seen horrible things and I’ll never be the same again lol)
Either way, it was creepy knowing that they could just come upstairs at any point, even while we were sleeping. Or should I say, while a few of us were sleeping. Most of them had a hard time falling asleep because of the “creepy old house” vibe. Oh yeah, plus the rooms had numerous tiny little doors on the wall! Hmm, in hindsight I should have taken photos of these but here are a few examples I found online of what I’m talking about (this isn’t the actual house we stayed in but you’ll get the idea).
The girls were extra freaked out by these. A few of the scenarios that they imagined were that the old lady and her husband would pop up in there to watch them sleep or a body was buried inside of the walls. They also feared that a ghost or some weird clown on a bike or something would pop out…the horror stories were endless but fortunately nothing happened. They still barricaded the doors each night though just to play it safe!
I read a few theories on why those doors existed in old houses and the most common theory appears to be that the cutouts were created to utilize the extra storage space under a slanted roof or so that kids could easily crawl to each other’s rooms. Either way, I’m fairly certain that we won’t ever book that house again!
Speaking of bad ideas, check out this classy establishment that we drove past one morning. Yes, please take a closer look inside of that window.
“Pap in a Snap” eh? Is speed really the top selling point for this procedure? I mean, does anyone just randomly decide to add that to their “to-do” list during lunch? Like “pick up dry cleaning, buy laundry detergent and oh yeah, why not grab a papsmere’? Seriously, does anyone really want their pap snapped?
Besides, look at the place! I’m guessing it looks better inside because based on the exterior, I wouldn’t even want to eat in that building so I surely wouldn’t recommend anyone strip down to their naughty bits and seek delicate medical attention there. But hey ladies, if you’re feeling daring, the website is papinasnap.com and they’re located in Queens, NY. Enjoy!
Oh, but check out these pics I took inside of one of the restaurants we ate at in NY! Ha, I’d actually consider putting those couches in my office lol. Oh yeah, um sorry vegetarians – I didn’t make that wall art though!
Do you have a great recipe you’d like to share or a place that we should check out? Tell us about it in the comments below!
Last NY photo before we move on to the memes – check it out, Tupac’s back! Obviously, this isn’t real (or is it? Hmmm) but wow, the Madame Tussaud team really does an amazing job with these!
Okay, and now without further ado, here are some of the best memes and web content that people have shared with me over the course of June!
We’ll kick this off with yet another rapper, but this one is alive and well…and most likely high wherever he is right now. Yes, it’s Snoop Dogg Snoop Loops! lol I’m not gonna lie, I’d actually try those if they were real! Fo shizzle my dizzle…
Speaking of eating, here are a few foodie memes that were shared with me as well. This first one doesn’t just apply to grandma’s because my mom also feeds me like I’m about to die whenever I visit! I’m not complaining though, lol I think it’s well established that I’m the captain of #TeamGreedy by now…
And here are a few romantic gift ideas for your boo lol
Speaking of boo’s and bae’s, these next 3 photos sum up my currently relationship status (minus the shy part…I will eat your food though lol):
Although, after seeing these photos, I too have come to the realization that I’d like to be a stepdad asap lol
Here are a few photos that sum up “adulating” in a nutshell…
Ha and this one looks like a prescription that Pap in a Snap might give you… supposedly sloppy handwriting is a sign of intelligence though. Or at least I tell myself that as I struggle to read my own chicken scratch handwriting…
Here are a few fashion related posts. I’m definitely giving a “thumbs down” to the men’s lace shorts! Geez, first the Rompers and now this? lol, I’ll just stick to jeans and shorts. But speaking of shorts, I’ve got to hand it to this chick for the creativity with the basketball shorts lol in a strange way it actually kind of works!
I’ve had this one sent to me a few times since everyone knows I’m a huge Batman fan. Ha this would be way to tacky to actually have in my house but it’s still pretty cool!
This one happens to me all of the time for some reason…and I always make the same face this kid is making in the photo too…sans Sponge Bob onesie…
These next 2 are accurately hilarious as well…
Here are a few great mental and physical fitness memes and posts from the month of June as well!
And we’ll close it out with a few memes that reinforce my constant reminder to always be yourself because you can’t please everyone… despite that meme being from 2016, it’s still VERY accurate now as well!
Be Relentlessly You. Always.
Have a fitness question or accomplishment you’d like to share? Tell us about it in the comments below!
Emergency – Icona Pop
Somebody’s Watching Me – Rockwell ft. Michael Jackson (man that house was creepy lol)
I’m the One – DJ Khaled ft. Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper and Lil Wayne
Have another song that fits today’s themes or just so good that we should check it out in general? Tell us about it in the comments below!
Okay that’s a wrap for today folks! Before I head out, here are your obligatory reminders to like and follow this page then go follow us on social media as well! Also please leave a comment before you go!
Have a great week and thanks again for dropping by! As always, may the fork be with you my friends…
“Life is not a fairy tale, if you lose your shoe at midnight – you’re drunk.”