Andddd we’re back!  Well, I’M back…you know what I mean.  Anyway, what’s up everybody?  I’m posting on a Tuesday again because I just flew in from New York (and boy are my arms tired…) so I got in around 1:30am.  I would have gotten in sooner but I made the mistake of engaging my Uber driver in what I thought was just light and friendly banter. 

Suddenly the guy starts teaching a philosophy and World History lesson with tons of inaccurate dates and facts (I was hoping he’d just stop talking since I was exhausted so I didn’t bother to correct him).  Don’t get me wrong, he was a great guy but wow, that man could talk!  I was so exhausted I could barely focus on what he was trying to tell me so I started giving my “default replies” like “oh wow” and “that’s crazy” every 30-45 seconds so he didn’t think that I was ignoring him…although I was ignoring him…or at least trying to. 

Man that was a long ride lol.  I considered jumping out and doing a tuck roll even though we were going about 75 mph on the Interstate but I didn’t want to break my laptop (or you know…die) so I was forced to stick it out.  Oh and then he even got out to finish our discussion after we had already arrived at my apartment.  Apparently my “light banter” game is stronger than I thought. 

Anyway, here I am back in The ATL with yet another bag of luggage that I’ll probably take several weeks to unpack.  Which is fortunate however since I’ll be going back to NY next month anyway lol.

So the Uber ride wasn’t the only awkward situation I had this past week…although that’s to be expected since my life is basically a real-life sitcom.  But yeah, I was living out of a hotel for all of last week and on day 2, the cleaning lady opened the door while I was still getting ready.  Yes I was dressed, that’s not the story…but good guess lol.  No, I was still eating and packing up my items for the day when she came in to do her thing.

She started to clean to room while I was still in there so I felt bad just watching her.  Like I was “King Darrell” or a (bad and) boogie snob or something so I started cleaning too lol.   First I wiped down the bathroom sink and then I started to gather all of the towels. 

After that I went over and made the bed.. and not half-assed like I do at home sometimes.   No, I’m talking about perfect creases and folds with exact pillow placement. 

Oh, and this bed was ridiculous by the way, it had like 8 pillows on it but I lined them up just right before I finally gathered my items, thanked her and headed out. 

Anyway, I came back to the room several hours later and guess what?  She redid my bed!  I was almost offended like “what did I possibly do wrong”??? 

So the next morning before heading out, I made it again.  This time even crisper than the day before.  But once again, I came back that evening and she had completely redone it! 

So now it was almost becoming a competition.  This lady was crushing my ego lol….so before I got into bed that night, I took a photo of exactly how she did it. 

The next morning, I woke up bright and early, opened that photo and matched every detail to a tee.  I figured there was absolutely no way I wouldn’t pass inspection this time.  Seriously, I spent like 45 minutes on this thing lol it was spectacular!  But when I returned later that day BAM – she’d redone it again!

I never did figure it out.  Seriously, I was there for 5 days straight and I failed every time.   I felt like I was back in grade school.  I don’t know if this chick was in the military or something but I couldn’t live up to her standards.  She was like the Russian judge at the Olympics.

I almost slept on the couch the last night just so I could leave her with one perfect bed setting before I checked out but instead I left her $20 and a thank you card which I’m sure she appreciated even more.  Anyway, when I return in June, the competition will continue Gabriela! 

So before we continue, let’s all take a minute to shout out my Dad who’s birthday is today (May 22)!  My parents don’t like their photos shared on the internet so just imagine me stretched out to about 5’9”.  Ha, yes, we look that much alike (although I have many of my mom’s features as well….especially her height so um yeah, thanks for that “gift” madre! Lol). 

My brother and I look a lot alike too.  Although he’s 9 years older, most people assume that we’re twins which either means that he looks really young or I look really old!  Hmm…

I actually forgot how much we look alike during that trip I described in my 96 post a few weeks ago.  Since I tend to use self-deprecating humor at times, I accidentally said that I had average looks which deeply offended him since we look so much alike!  Haha, sorry Dwayne!  My bad you sexy beast you lol.  Anyway, yeah, Happy Birthday Pops!  Here’s to many more.

So if you’ve been anywhere near the internet this past week, you must have seen all of the romper posts.  However, for those of you who need a primer, allow me to bring you up to speed…

This company, ACED Design, has started a Kickstarter campaign for a male version of the romper called the RompHim.  No, seriously lol…I’m not sure there was an actual demand for this outfit but discussion on the topic has taken the world by storm!

I personally wouldn’t even want to be caught dead in one of these (seriously, if that’s the only outfit choice to bury me in, please cremate me!) but plenty of guys are digging them, especially after NFL star Cam Newton sported a pair.  Of course, when you’re an athletic 6’5” 245lb MVP quarterback with millions of dollars in the bank, you might be one of the select few who can pull off this look (hmm, my sister-in-law has a crush on him, I’ll have to see what her thoughts are on this subject!).  I’m not sure that Vinny at the gas station could pull these off quite as easily though.  I mean, first of all, the shorts are SHORT…like Richard Simmons (remember that guy?) short.  And then, well, it’s a romper, I don’t need a long list of negatives, the whole idea is bad!  The designers are making a ton of money though!

Although I’m somewhat of a fashion daredevil, my wild side is limited to foodie and cartoon character shirts.  Maybe a glowing bowtie every now and then…  you know, stuff like that.  I can’t get down with the RompHim onesie though lol no thank you. 

I do respect someone’s choice to wear one though but um yeah, please don’t lol.  And most of us thought that the murse (or man-purse) was already crossing the line, this trend power steps over that line, then steps back over and moonwalks across it again! 

Lol I’m just kidding about the please don’t though, hey, do what makes you happy.  Life is short right?  But as for me?  I’ll pass lol. 

I do find it somewhat hilarious how hypocritical much of the discussion on this topic is though. 

Case in point, I was on the subway the other day and these 3 guys were having a discussion about this very topic.  They were all dressed the exact same way. 

They each had on extremely tight skinny jeans but only pulled up to their knees with their dirty undies fully exposed.  And despite having on a belt; since their pants were only up to their knees they naturally had to pull them back up every time they took a step. 

It was hard not to see the irony as they discussed how “feminine and stupid” the RompHim looks but again, to each his own.  Well, sorta, I’m personally not a fan of exposing my undies to the world but if that’s your thing, at least make sure they’re clean…

“I’m personally not a fan of exposing my undies to the world but if that’s your thing, at least make sure they’re clean…” – Fat Darrell

What are your thoughts on the whole RompHim debate?  Post in the comments below…

So as mentioned, I spent the last 5 days in a hotel, yet I actually came back in better shape than I was when I left.  Granted, I was in NY for a fitness workshop, but aside from those workouts, I also went into the trip with a game plan to stay fit.  Here are a few tips that I’ve found useful throughout the years:

Go Grocery Shopping:  If your room has a refrigerator and there’s a grocery store nearby, this is your ideal scenario.  In this case, you can swing by the store and stock up on plenty of healthy meals and snacks to stay on track for the duration of your trip.  I was not fortunate enough to have a grocery store nearby this time around, but if you are, take advantage of the situation and go grocery shopping as soon as possible.

Convenience Stores and Fitness Centers:  If you don’t have a grocery store nearby, most likely you’ll have a gas station or a convenience store nearby that may have at least a few healthier options.  If the prices aren’t too outrageous, stock up on items such as tuna, salads and healthy snacks.  Many convenience stores have also begun to sell items like protein shakes, protein bars and protein cookies so stock up on those too!  If you’re fortunate enough to have a vitamin store or a gym nearby, you might be able to find those items there as well.

Continental Breakfast:  If your hotel serves breakfast make sure to wake up early enough to snag a few items to stash in your fridge such as Greek yogurt, hard-boiled eggs and fruits.  These items will make great healthy snacks for you to consume throughout the day without having to rely on fast food and vending machine items.

Perform a Google search for restaurant options in your area:  Just because you only see a burger joint and a donut shop next door doesn’t mean those are the only restaurants in the area.  Perform a search to find out if there might be some healthier options for you to choose from as well.  Even places that might not seem as healthy could have healthier choices on the menu.  For example, a Chinese food restaurant might seem like a bad idea at first glance, however they’re likely to have brown rice, chicken and steamed veggies that you could stock up on. 

Still have the burger if you wish:  Of course, part of the fun of a trip is dining out with friends and coworkers so just like any week, you’re still welcome to have a cheat meal or 2.  Of course, that means that you should remain disciplined at other times, especially earlier in the week before you head out of town.  For example, my trip began on a Tuesday so I made sure to eat well on Sunday and Monday while I had better control over my meals since I was still at home.

Increase your activity level:  And as mentioned, I worked out while I was away.  Aside from the fitness workshops that I attended, I utilized the hotel gym and took walks outside.  Even on days when I was rushed, I performed bodyweight exercises in the hotel room for 15 minutes or so before I left for the day.  Even if it doesn’t seem like much, remember that a rushed workout is always better than no workout!

Have a fitness related question you’d like for me to answer?  Do you have an accomplishment or goal that you’d like to share?  Tell us about it in the comments below!

LOS ANGELES – 1992: Actor Richard Simmons poses for a portrait in 1992 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Harry Langdon/Getty Images)

Today’s Soundtrack

Dude Looks Like a Lady – Aerosmith (Romper?  Hardly know her…)

Empire State of Mind – Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys (I heart NY)

Hotel – Cassidy ft. R. Kelly

Hotel Motel – Pitbull

Rappers Delight – Sugarhill Gang (where that last song’s title came from…”Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn…)

On the Road Again – Willie Nelson (For those of you who complain that I don’t include enough country songs on these playlists lol…although in my defense, I tell you every week to post suggestions in the comments below!)

Happy Birthday – Stevie Wonder (Happy Birthday to my Father!)

Do you have a suggestion for another song that fits today’s themes?  Do you have another song we should just check out because it’s awesome?  Tell us about it in the comments below!

Thanks again to all who follow the Fat Darrell page on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.  If you haven’t done so already, click the social media buttons on the side panel to follow me! (No seriously – do it now!)

Also thanks to those of you who leave comments each week.  Although it’s nice when you private message me with your comments, posting on this page brings others into the discussion as well so don’t forget to chime in below before you leave!

I hate to end this on a sad note but my thoughts and prayers go out to those who were affected by the bombing in Manchester, England yesterday.  It’s a cruel world when you can’t even attend a concert without fearing an attack like this.  What a truly horrific situation.

Again, thank you all for dropping by.  Since I’m a huge Michael Jackson fan, let’s close this one out with a quote:

“Heal the world.  Make it a better place.  For you and for me and the entire human race…” – Michael Jackson

Until next time my friends,

-Darrell