What’s up everybody?  How have you been?  I’ve got to admit, that was kind of weird only posting once last week, it feels like forever since I wrote the last one!  Despite having a full week to put this together though, here I am typing away the night before it’s due again.  If you’re a regular reader and saw my hypocritical speech to my niece telling her not to wait until the last minute to write her school papers, you may see the irony lol.  Do as I say and not as I do LaNaya!

I do have a solid excuse for waiting until the last minute however…. You see, the main feature of this post was supposed to be a recap of my meeting with The Cake Boss himself, Buddy Valastro at the Grand Opening of his new Carlo’s Bakery location in Dunwoody, Georgia yesterday.  However, that meeting did not go as planned so instead you’ll get a few photos that I took along with the following “the dog ate my homework” excuses for the next few paragraphs!

So um yeah, “what had happened was…” – okay so the ribbon cutting ceremony was supposed to take place this past Saturday at 6:30am inside of the mall where it’s located.  That’s pretty early for cannoli and cupcakes and crazy early for people to get up on a Saturday so I figured that so long as I made it there by around 6am, I’d be one of the first people in line. 

Now, back in high school, my Biology teacher used to think that she was so clever constantly using the line “to assume makes an ass out of u and me (ass-u-me).”  I swear, this woman must have been going senile because she busted out that phrase at least 4 times per week and laughed like a maniac every single time like it was the funniest, most original thing she ever heard.  Well, apparently that lesson didn’t sink in for me because I assumed that the crowd would be relatively small and I assumed that the event would run all day so nobody else would be crazy enough to be there that early.  Apparently I underestimated the power of The Cake Boss.

By the time that I arrived, the line was wrapped all the way around the building!  It looked like Target on Black Friday out there.  Had I known it was going to be that crazy, I would have contacted them for a press pass or tried to use my Z-list celebrity status to secure a spot up front.  But nope, there I was about 700 and something people deep in a sea of humanity.

It was freezing outside that morning too.  Georgia still baffles me with the “every 5 minute” weather changes but I’m really glad that I wore a coat that morning! Still, by the time that we got inside after waiting for an eternity in the freezing cold, the girl in line behind me and I had become friendly enough to briefly cuddle each other for warmth!  She was equally as strange as I am so she kept balancing the book she brought to get autographed on her head for long stretches of time.  I think her record for the day was 15 minutes which was pretty impressive!  I should have gotten her autograph, she may be on America’s Got Talent balancing giant bowls of fruit on her head someday…

Anyway, the ribbon cutting was supposed to have taken place at 6:30 but they didn’t actually start the ceremony until 8:15.  Once that was over, everyone in line was invited to shop and meet Buddy.  That was my plan; to eat, take a few photos and conduct a quick interview but yeah, no such luck due to the time constraints.  Normally I would have just stuck it out and stayed however long it took but I was scheduled to teach a boot camp class around 10 so my mental countdown was getting dangerously close to running out of time.   

By 9:50, I was still about 2 hours away from the front of the line so I knew that it was time to officially abort the mission.  The best I could do was take a few photos of Buddy and the crew slinging pastries but I didn’t have time to interview him or jump into a photo myself. 

Next time he’s here or I’m back in New Jersey I suppose.  As for my coverage of this event, I get a failing grade.  Next time I’ll call ahead and get there earlier.  See what waiting until the last minute does LaNaya!

So as mentioned, I ended up talking to the girl in line behind me and due to our equally strange personalities and frigid temperatures messing with our thoughts and speech patterns, we ended up covering a lot of random topics.  One of the topics she brought up however was the fact that she’s never actually witnessed a McDonalds being built before, yet they somehow magically appear on nearly every block.  After laughing for a minute, I thought it through and hold up, she’s right!  I’ve never actually seen a McDonalds being built before either!  How is this possible?  They’re literally everywhere!  Surely someone has witnessed or has been a part of this construction process?  If not, what kind of voodoo magic is going on here?  Who are these McNinjas?  Seriously, these buildings just seem to manifest overnight or something lol we should hire those guys to help rebuild the overpass that collapsed on I-85 down here in Atlanta – it would be done next week!  

Lol hmm, they say that (seriously, who is this ‘they” that everyone references???) the pyramids may have been built by aliens since the tools that would be necessary to move the large stones and hoist them high into the air at perfect angles were far too advanced for that time period.  So maybe aliens are also beaming down Mickey D’s?  I mean, it does make sense…the fries there are out of this world!  Ha, get it?  Nevermind… still, she’s right though, I honestly haven’t seen a McDonald’s being built before, have you?  That reminds me, if you haven’t seen the post where I took pictures of the UFO Welcome center in Bowman, SC you can check it out by clicking here…

So speaking of strange conversations, my friend Liz posted a Facebook rant about how much she despises open toe boots.  Her main issue with them is that boots are supposed to be for colder weather (like standing in line to meet The Cake Boss) so having open toes makes no sense.  It’s similar to the tank tops I have that also have hoods I suppose.  Anyway, seeing how much she despised this concept, of course I had to post several photos of them on her wall because well, that’s what friends are for eh?  So I posted these ugly fringe open toe boots and these Pepto Bismal pink mutant Crocs toe glove boots on her wall. 

I told her that I was going to buy her a pair of each and of course she laughed but then responded “wow, I think you may have found the world’s ugliest shoes.”  Hmm…but did I?  I think that we all know how my mind works by now so of course I had to find out so I did several Google searches and found plenty more where those came from!  I now present to you, the best of the worst…for now.  I’m sure there are many more and I welcome your contributions so feel free to share on the ®Fat Darrell Facebook page by following the social media links on on the side panel!  With that said, buckle up kids, it’s about to get ugly….here we go!

Okay, let’s start off with some open toe boots for Liz since they’re her favorite!  I can’t say that I agree with her that every pair I’ve ever seen women wearing has looked awful, but I’m sure we can both agree that these are pretty bad! 

But they still look better than these!  What are these things anyway?  They look like a prop from Aladdin…

Hold up!  Has anyone seen my mop?  Oh wait, there it is, carry on… actually it kind of looks like the Alien from Predator.  Wow, lots of unintentional alien talk on this post ha my bad…

Speaking of aliens though… why is she setting up like she’s about to run a track meet?  I’d seriously pay to see her try to run in those!

Or run in any of these for that matter… As a straight male I understand that I’m not the target audience but still, who’s foot is actually shaped like this???

Just do it?  Just don’t…

Dollheads?  Bloodstains?  What are these Dexter-force 1’s?  Geez… actually, my ex girlfriend might like these.  She puts the H-O-T in psychotic…

Okay, I could make a case for the open toe boots if I had to but these?  I’ve got nothing…

Oh but it actually gets worse! 

Someone please check to make sure that Big Bird and Cookie Monster are okay… #MuppetSwag?

Ho Ho Ho?  Ho Oh No!  I love Christmas as much as the next guy but wow…

Giving a whole new meaning to hush puppies…and what are those, hooves? 

Continuing with the Animal Planet theme…

 Oh my… lol but why though???  Plus the socks?  Wow…

Okay, I’m not mad at this last batch though!  Foodie shoes!  If I ever decide to get married, perhaps my future bride may someday walk down the aisle wearing the cheeseburger platter or the spaghetti and meatball stilettos… (the cherry pie slice would be saved for the reception of course…)

Okay that’s enough of that lol would any of you actually wear those?  Hey, if you’re confident you can pull off almost anything so I can picture a few of those looking decent on the right person or under the right circumstances (especially the foodie ones!).  Overall though, most of those are beyond saving!  Anyway, see if you can top those and send me more through the contact page or on social media!

I may have used this tip in the past but since it fits today’s main theme and I’m still seeing some people make this mistake, I’ll repost it here.  You should always wear the correct footwear for the athletic activity you’re performing.  Just this past week I saw a guy try to ride a spin bike with flip flops on (actually he was still soaking wet from the pool and still wearing his bathing suit but for now we’ll just focus on his footwear) while another lady on the treadmill was wearing boots (no, not open toe if you’re wondering) yet complaining about how her lower back always hurt.  Another friend rolled his ankle playing basketball while wearing running shoes this past week but most of these aches and pains could have been avoided by wearing the right shoes for each activity.  Just like you wouldn’t bring a snorkel to go play tennis, you shouldn’t bring shoes without proper ankle support to go shoot hoops for example.  Also, make sure to replace your footwear every 3 to 6 months depending on how often you walk in them.  Once the sole and arch support has been compromised, you’re more at risk for an injury or a muscular imbalance.

Have a fitness related question you’d like answered or an accomplishment you’d like to share?  Tell us about it in the comments below!    

Today’s Soundtrack

The Boss – Rick Ross ft. T-Pain (The Cake Boss that is…)

Walk like an Egyptian – The Bangles 

6 inch – Beyonce ft. The Weeknd 

These Boots Are Made for Walking – Nancy Sinatra (Those blue alien track meet boots were definitely NOT made for walking…)

Pumps and a Bump – MC Hammer (if you still haven’t seen my interview with him on The Skinny With Fat Darrell, check it out by clicking this link: http://www.fatdarrell.com/theskinny)

My Adidas – Run DMC

Air Force Ones – Nelly

Jumpman – Drake and Future

All Star – Smash Mouth (As long as it’s not those Converse All-Star sandals again – man those were bad!)

Fashion – Lady Gaga

Have another song that fits today’s themes?  Tell us about it in the comments below!

Okay, that about does it for today.  But before I go, I’m happy to report that I finally got my taxes sent to “my accountant” (aka Mom lol) last week!  Ha, yeah, that last minute speech feels more and more hypocritical by the minute!  But hey, I’m still ahead of the deadline!  If you haven’t done yours already and haven’t filed for an extension though, you’ve got about a week left to get it done!

As always, please continue to like, comment and share this page.  And again, if you’re not following me on social media, you’re missing out on half of the fun so click those buttons on the side panel to join the discussions there as well! 

Okay, thanks again for dropping by.  Have a great week everyone and May the Fork be With You.

Wishing you love, peace and tacos,

-Darrell

“There’s power in looking silly and not caring if you do” – Amy Poehler