Greetings Earthlings lol just kidding, we’ll get to alien talk at some point though but not today! Actually… ya know what? Okay fine, maybe just a little bit (lol that topic switch seriously wasn’t planned, my mind is literally that scary haha).  So yeah, shows like Ancient Aliens are fun to watch and I was a huge X-files fan but in real life?  I dunno man, my mindset is still a bit more Scully than Mulder at this point.  Oh, my bad, for those of you who don’t speak “Nerdanese” that means that I’m still a bit skeptical lol.  I mean come on, with all of these camera phones you’d think there would be more footage by now right?  But still, some of these shows do make some interesting points so I really don’t know.  Maybe?  One day I’d love to get out to Area 51 or Roswell to check out the alleged crash sites.  But in the meantime, lol check out this weird house I drove past in Bowman, South Carolina!

UFO Welcome Center eh?  Ah yes that’s right Martians, if you travel millions and millions of miles across several galaxies to get here, this is the glorious reward that awaits you lol majestic isn’t it?  Drink it in mannnn (©Chris Jericho lol). Seriously, could you imagine what this guy would do if an alien actually showed up though? Lol he’d probably soil himself!  I mean, is he even prepared?  The roof looks like it’s about to cave in!  And what’s this extra piece he’s adding on now?  lol does he have some sort of welcome speech already prepared?  An interpretive dance with jazz hands and sparklers perhaps? Does he have space snacks lol like rocket pops or that nasty astronaut ice cream they sell at museums (wait…actually I forgot what that tastes like.  Somebody go to Liberty Science Center or the Smithsonian gift shop or something and mail me a batch!)?  Hmm perhaps he’ll spoil them with local delicacies like Sunny D and Tostino’s pizza rolls before challenging them to a game of beer pong?  Lol what’s his plan?  Ha I really want to know what goes on inside of that house yet at the same time I really DON’T want to know what goes on inside of that house!  One day I might try to interview him for you guys but let me update my will first…

So anyway, back here on Earth I just took this DISC personality quiz on Tony Robbins website and well, long story short, it says that I’m a jerk!  I also took the Myers-Brigg Jung personality test (if any of you took either of these tests comment below!) which told me that I’m an ENTJ and as such, I’m an obnoxious jerk of the rarest caliber lol an upper-echelon d-bag if you will.  A “Douches Bagiosas” I believe is the scientific classification lol an “Assholious Maximosas” lol. Oh yeah and I’m also a Scorpio (Halloween baby! October 31) so my sun profile also says that I’m a colossal obnoxious jerk… but this time with a vindictive spirit and deep rooted trust issues!  And as many of you know, I was raised in New Jersey so when you ad that to the mix, apparently I’m completely hard-wired to be a prick lol. 

Ha oh, that last statement was made with love though Jersey peeps. Personally, I prefer straightforward hatred lol sugarcoating is a complete waste of time.  Realistically, I’ve met way more petty, rude people down here in Georgia!  They just appear to be more polite because they’re passive-aggressive with their shade down here.  I mean, they’ll still dog you out, slash your tires and drag your name through the mud but then they’ll bake you a pie or a pumpkin bread or something…

The only other place I lived away from the east coast was Phoenix and everyone there was pretty laid back from what I remember.  And so are most of the people I’ve met from Colorado, California, Portland and Seattle…but that might be because they’re all high since weed is legal in those areas lol. 

Anyway, where was I?  Oh yeah, I’m a prick.  A huge prick.  Or at least that’s what I’m supposed to be lol for it is my destiny.  But don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad.  For example, Scorpios are also extremely loyal (until we’re crossed then RUN!) and that’s obviously true since I’m still a die-hard fan of the San Francisco 49ers and (my beloved alma mater) Rutgers football who both combined for less than 5 wins this season!  As mentioned, I’m currently in Atlanta so that means that I’m surrounded by Falcons fans (currently in the playoffs and looking incredible!) and SEC fans (One of, if not the most dominant college football conference).  Do you know how strong you have to be to remain loyal to my teams with daily shade being thrown by those fans?  Let’s just say that I received a lot of pies and pumpkin bread this season…

So yeah, as I described earlier, some people are hard-wired a little bit more abrasive than others lol but knowledge is power right?  Like GI Joe says, “knowing is half the battle” eh? So being aware of your naturally grouchy disposition is a key to modifying this behavior.  Basically, we need to learn how to chill because aside from mental, emotional and relationship damage, stress can also lead to physical weight gain, heart issues and more!  So here are a few ways to get a handle on that so you can get an A on your report card for “plays well with others” and be more Elmo than Oscar (sorry, I spent a lot of time with my 5 year-old nephew Domonick over the holidays)…

Yoga – No fellas, this one isn’t just for the ladies. Aside from increased flexibility and focus, it also should also take your grumpy attitude down a few notches..lol namaste.

Sleep – you ever notice how most babies turn from angels into demons when they’re tired? That’s also you, but most likely not as cute when you drool…

Eat – See the above description for sleep.  I literally carry snacks around all day.  Those Snickers commercials are right.  You wouldn’t like me when I’m hangry.

Workout / Go for a walk – Gym therapy!  Working out releases endorphins (natural feel goods in your brain kiddos) to help turn that frown upside down.  If working out isn’t your thing, at least go for a walk…away from everyone else so you that you can give yourself some time to think…and others a break from you!

Music – Getting lost in the music should also release some feel goods in your brain…ideally it would be something on the fun or mellow side though to help take your heart rate down a bit.

Work on a hobby – doing what you love always helps make you feel better!  Unless what you love is emo…

Watch a movie/show – Temporarily escaping into a show might also help, just give yourself a time limit so that you don’t end up stressing even more because you wasted too much time.  So binge-watching 8 seasons of Friends might not be the best idea…but a 30 minute break?  Sure, have at it.

Read – Same as the description of the movie/show idea…but analog instead of digital lol.

Medidate – While the tv and book ideas are a great way to escape reality, you’ll eventually need to actually resolve the problem at hand.  That means that running to alcohol, drugs and other stimulants probably isn’t the best answer either.  So take 10 minutes to breathe and focus on the good instead of the bad.  I mean, we live in a world where burritos and pancakes are available 24 hours a day!  There’s plenty to be thankful for…

Write – Writing out your feelings is always therapeutic.  So if you’re pissed off, write out your nasty tirade instead of actually saying it – but don’t actually send it!  Instead, reread it later when you’re less emotional or ideally, delete it and move on.  By the time you’re done, the issue may not even be a big deal to you anymore. 

Turn off Electronics – Kill the screens and work on real world relationships more. Take a trip somewhere or catch up with an old friend.  Read my blog and visit my social media pages first though lol but then yeah, give yourself a break from screens – especially if you stare at them all day as a part of your job. And definitely make sure to turn off those electronics and chargers while you’re trying to sleep. The constant alerts and glowing lights as your phone charges will make it hard for you to reach that 5^th level of inception so you may wake up feeling even more tired and cranky then when you first laid down.

Have some other tips and suggestions on how to reduce stress?  Share them below!

Okay Jersey peeps, this one is for you because today I’m featuring Slater’s Deli in Leonardo, NJ!  More specifically, I’m talking about the award-winning pork roll, egg and cheese sandwich that I tried there (thanks for the tip Jaime Marotta!).  Before I continue, I suppose I need to explain what pork roll is to people outside of The Garden State.  Okay so pork roll is….um pork roll is…uhhh hmm, how in the hell do you describe this? Lol okay some people call it Taylor Ham and it’s kind of like ham but it’s not…and it’s kind of like Canadian Bacon but it’s not.  Lol hmm, someone feel free to help me out in the comments below!  But yeah, it’s a processed meat kind of like the 2 that I just mentioned but it’s thicker and spicier (thick and spicy, ha reminds me of my ex girlfriend…).  It is made of pork though (duh) so that might not fit everyone’s diet.  But for those who can have it, you need to get to Slater’s ASAP!  I ordered the gut-busting award winning Pork roll, Egg and Cheese (PE&C) with ketchup, salt and pepper and well…look at the pictures!  

It was HUGE!  I could have made 4 sandwiches out of that thing lol.  Of course, I ate the entire sandwich by myself because it was delicious and I’m #greedyaf but yeah, you might need to take half of it home or bring a friend with you (or call me) to help you finish it!  Aside from the food, the staff was friendly and awesome so I stuck around for an extra hour or so talking to everyone after I was done eating.  That also gave me time to digest so that I could finally button my pants and walk again lol. Slater’s – check them out!  www.slatersdeli.com/

Do you have a place or food item that I should check out?  Let me know!

Today’s Soundtrack

Runaway – Kanye West (warning parents, that chorus isn’t for the kiddies)

Under Pressure – Queen (classic)

Rapture – Blondie (lol she raps about a man from Mars eating cars – what’s not to love?)

Smooth Criminal – Alien Ant Farm (lol this insane cover of Michael Jackson’s classic is genius)

E.T. – Katy Perry ft Kanye West (Kanye again? Yep lol)

Space Jam – Quad City Dj’s (I’m still not so sure about this proposed remake with current NBA players…unless Michael Jordan and the old guard make an appearance to pass the torch!)

Intergalactic – Beastie Boys (Hello Nasty…’I’ll stir fry you with my wok’!)

Have other songs that fit today’s theme’s?  Drop them in the comments below!

 

Let’s double it up today!

 

Question 1:  Do Aliens Exist?  Comment Below! #TeamMulder (yes) or #TeamScully (no)

Question 2:  Should they remake Space Jam featuring Lebron James and current players or just leave the classic alone?  Comment Below! #Slamdunk (yes) or #Foul (no) 

Results will be posted on our social media pages so make sure to follow!             

Okay, that about does it for today but I’ll be back again on Monday.  In the meantime, please continue to like, comment, share and all that good stuff so that we can keep the conversation going on here and on my social media pages.  I appreciate all of the support in helping the page grow so please continue to invite more people to join the party.  Trust me, we’re only getting started!  

Until next time my friends, may the fork be with you.

“The Truth is out there.”

-Darrell